Mine for Ever Read online

Lilliana tried not to wince as his fingers brushed her neck. He allowed his hands to rest on her shoulders for a second after he had fastened it and she felt her skin bristle.

  “Quite charming!” he whispered, “and there will be plenty more baubles when we are married.”

  ‘I would rather have a string of shells from Robert than the finest jewels from you!’ thought Lilliana, as she sipped her wine.

  *

  Preparations for the wedding began to take shape.

  Lilliana was now spending a large amount of time at Lord Farringdon’s home – Carstairs House.

  “Soon, you will be Mistress of all you survey,” he said to her one day in January.

  It felt as if she already lived there as increasingly Lord Farringdon appeared to prefer her to acquaint herself with her new home-to-be.

  His household servants were as dour as he.

  In particular Lilliana began to dread his housekeeper, Mrs. Lock, who was a tall thin woman with piercing eyes that swept over her as if to gain the measure of her.

  It seemed that the humourless housekeeper took great pleasure in admonishing Lilliana as if she was a small child. Whenever she attempted to make a decision concerning menus or flowers, Mrs. Lock would instantly jump in and contradict her.

  ‘I sometimes feel as if it is Mrs. Lock who is the bride and not me,’ she thought, after one particular battle over table settings.

  She knew that Mrs. Lock reported every last blink of her eye to Lord Farringdon as he often remarked upon small things that had passed between them during the day.

  She often heard Lord Farringdon talk about his brother, Andrew, and after a few weeks, she met him.

  “Andrew has been visiting France,” explained Lord Farringdon, “he buys and sells Old Master paintings and Paris has a rich seam of talent.”

  “I have not been to Paris for ages,” she commented, taking in the fine bones and dark hair of Andrew that were such a contrast to the mean pinched features of his brother.

  “It’s a wonderful City and is more enchanting with each visit,” he said. “My brother has exquisite taste in all things – especially, it would seem, his fiancée.”

  Lilliana blushed, but she soon found Andrew to be an altogether different kettle of fish. He was learned and well read, so she sought him out whenever she tired of wedding preparations.

  One day she caught herself thinking that she would have preferred to have been forced to marry the brother!

  He certainly made her visits to Carstairs House a great deal easier.

  “Will Andrew live with us after we are married?” she had asked one day.

  Lord Farringdon shot her a suspicious look.

  “Why do you ask? I am a jealous man and will not tolerate you spending too much time with him, my dearest. Perhaps I will send him away. It does not do for you to become too fond of your brother-in-law.”

  “My Lord, I view him as just that – a brother-in-law, you need not worry that I think any more of him.”

  Lord Farringdon rushed over to her and seized her hand. Covering it in kisses, he looked up her.

  “Dearest, you don’t understand what torment the thought that you may have feelings for another causes me. I want you to love me and only me!”

  “Perhaps in time – ” she murmured, knowing in her heart that day would never come.

  “All I ask is that you are mine and only mine.”

  “You have made it so,” said Lilliana, close to tears.

  By the time her carriage arrived, she was feeling claustrophobic. It seemed to her that wherever she walked in the house, Lord Farringdon followed her.

  He had obviously spoken to his brother, as Andrew appeared to be avoiding her for the rest of the afternoon.

  She reached home thankfully, breathing in familiar fresh air.

  “Your mother has asked to see you, miss,” Holmes greeted her with a smile. “She is in her sitting room.”

  Quickly she made her way to the small room at the rear of the house.

  “Lilliana! Darling!”

  She bent to kiss her mother and noticed the letter propped up on the sideboard.

  “It came for you after you left. It is from India. I expect it is the reply to your letter to him.”

  Lilliana went hot and then cold – her mother did not know that she had not sent any such letter as she had still to write it.

  She picked it up and stared at the familiar writing.

  “It’s from the Earl?”

  “Yes, Mama.”

  “Then you must open it at once.”

  Lilliana’s hand trembled as she opened the letter.

  “My darling!” it read. “Good news! My superiors have decided that I am no longer required in India and so with a joyous heart, I write to inform you that I will be returning to England on the 24th of January.

  “Please say you will be waiting on the quayside for me at Southampton. The ship is due to reach the port in the afternoon. I so long to see you and hope you will be there. Until the 24th, your own Robert.”

  “Oh! Oh!” she cried, letting the letter drop.

  “What is it?”

  “The 24th! Robert is arriving on the 24th! That is only a week away. Oh, Mama! He could not have heard about my engagement.”

  Her mother put her arms around her daughter.

  “It is as I suspected – you have not written to him,” she said. “Will you go to him and tell him in person? You must make certain that he is under no illusion that he may pick up where he left off.”

  Lilliana’s tears came hot and fast. She shook her head slowly.

  “How can I when Lord Farringdon dogs my every step? He will not even allow me to go for a drive alone. I did not realise either how jealous he can be. Only today he told his own brother off for being too friendly with me! No, I cannot go!”

  “Then, you must write to him, darling, and quickly, so that he receives the letter the moment he arrives. You must not let him find out from anyone else. He must hear it from you – not a servant or an acquaintance. You owe him that much.”

  “Oh, Mama! I want to die! I was so close to seeing him again and now I cannot!”

  Her mother held her as she sobbed her heart out.

  “You must do your duty by Lord Farringdon and you must let the Earl know about your engagement. After all there was never any kind of promise between you. He will understand that you could not wait for him.”

  It was on the tip of Lilliana’s tongue to confess to her mother everything that had happened that day in the garden, but she held it fast.

  ‘If I tell my Mama, she will force Papa to break the engagement,’ she told herself. ‘And if that happens, then Lord Farringdon will not buy my father’s land. He might even inform the newspapers of the scandal that was hushed up. No, my fate is sealed.’

  Sealed to a man she could never love.

  ‘I would be better off dead,’ she thought, as her mother smoothed her hair and urged her to make haste in writing to the Earl. ‘Anything – even death itself, would be better than this terrible situation I now find myself in!’

  CHAPTER SIX

  It was with a very heavy heart that Lilliana climbed into Lord Farringdon’s phaeton the next day.

  Only the previous evening she had overheard her parents having a terrible row about the wedding.

  “She has made a great sacrifice for you, William,” she heard her mother say.

  Lilliana had awakened the next day, hoping that her father would tell her that everything would be all right and that she would not have to marry Lord Farringdon after all – but he refused to even look her in the eye over breakfast.

  At Carstairs House Lord Farringdon was busy and so Mrs. Lock escorted her into the morning room where a seamstress was patiently waiting for her.

  A lump rose in Lilliana’s throat as she was handed ten samples of white silk to choose from for her wedding gown. It was all she could do not to throw them in the fire and watch the flames lick at them until they w
ere no more.

  At half-past ten, Lord Farringdon entered the room.

  “You mustn’t see the bridal fabric – it’s bad luck!” shouted Mrs. Lock, outraged.

  “I don’t believe in any such foolish superstitions,” he replied, “in any case, I wish to speak with Miss Parker alone. Now, please leave us.”

  “My Lord?” asked Lilliana, querulously.

  “Don’t alarm yourself, I have come to discuss with you what I hope will be a pleasant diversion. You seem to be a little overwrought, so I thought that a change of scenery might do you good.

  “I have business in London and so I would like you to accompany me. Of course, I will speak to your parents and Mrs. Lock will attend you as chaperone.”

  Lilliana took a deep breath.

  With Lord Farringdon in London could she not slip away and speak with Robert in person?

  His ship was arriving the day after next and he was so clever, perhaps he could think of a way to rescue her from the whole sorry business!

  “I would rather stay in Hampshire, my Lord,” she replied quietly.

  His expression altered and she recognised only too clearly the signs of anger on his face.

  “Do I need to remind you about our bargain?” he growled coldly. “There is still plenty of time for the press to be informed of your father’s stupidity.”

  “But you said that Count Vaslaski had returned to Russia and that the case had been closed.”

  “I said, if you recall my exact words, that it had been suspended. There is a difference between suspended and closed. The Chief Inspector would gladly open it up again should I name the price!”

  Lilliana remained silent while she thought.

  ‘So, he is to hold this over my head until the day he places the ring on my finger? I was foolish to believe that matters had been allowed to rest. I must set aside all ideas of visiting Robert – a letter it must be.’

  “I repeat, will you come to London with me?”

  Lord Farringdon was tapping irritably on the highly polished table. His eyes burned with impatience.

  “We will be staying in Park Street?”

  “Of course, it is my London home and will one day be yours.”

  “Then I will accompany you.”

  Lord Farringdon beamed – he seemed pleased that she had at last shown some enthusiasm for the trip.

  “Excellent and you may shop as much as you like – and at my expense. I am certain that there are still a great many things you require for the wedding and – ” he added, in a low voice, “the honeymoon.”

  Lilliana’s stomach knotted. She had quite forgotten about the honeymoon.

  “We will be going away?”

  “Of course. I am sorry that I have not discussed it with you earlier, but I have booked a trip to Venice.”

  Lilliana had always longed to visit Venice, but she had not envisaged it would be with him! In her romantic dreams she imagined herself dreamily walking with Robert over its many bridges and canals.

  And now she would visit that beautiful City with a man she despised. She would have rather he had suggested the African deserts or the salt mines of Siberia for all the pleasure she would take in the visit.

  “And whilst we are in London I would like you to visit my physician to verify that you are fit to undertake the ordeal of childbirth. I am not that young and I do not wish to wait for children – I am sure you will appreciate that.”

  Lilliana stared at him, uncomprehending at what he was saying to her.

  “Children!” she stammered. “I had not thought – ”

  “You are young, my dear, and strong. There is no need to be afraid! When the time comes, you will receive the best possible care that money can buy.”

  Lilliana swallowed hard on the lump in her throat.

  ‘I had dreamed of having Robert’s children – yes,’ she mused, ‘but I cannot imagine having a child with this vile man!’

  Lord Farringdon took her silence for modesty.

  “I am sorry, I have shocked you. I did not mean to be distasteful or to cast aspersions on your ability to have children. But, as you can appreciate, I am keen to have an heir so that the line of the house of Farringdon is assured. A man needs a son, Lilliana.”

  ‘I just cannot imagine anything more hateful than to have a child born to such an unhappy union,’ she groaned.

  As soon as he left, Lilliana burst into tears.

  Mrs. Lock came in and scolded her for crying.

  “You must not become overwrought!” she chided, “this should be the happiest time of your life!”

  ‘No, I should be about to meet Robert from his long journey – not cooped up with these disagreeable people.’

  ‘Oh, Robert,’ she whispered to herself, ‘if only you knew what has happened to me!’

  But how could he? He was on board a ship bound for England, totally ignorant of the fact that the woman he had proposed to was about to be married to another.

  Two days later she was taken to the house in Park Street, but her thoughts were far away – in Southampton.

  *

  It was mid-afternoon when the Sirius steamed into Southampton. On board the mood was most jovial as the men prepared to meet their wives and loved ones.

  The Earl had remained in his cabin for much of the journey, composing a very long love letter in the form of a poem to Lilliana.

  He poured out all his hopes for their future together and spoke eloquently of his love for her.

  A knock on his cabin door interrupted his thoughts as he was writing the last verse.

  “My Lord, we are about to dock in Southampton,” said the Sergeant, “will you come out and address the men before we go our separate ways?”

  The Earl put down his pen and sighed. He blotted the excess ink from the paper and carefully folded it over before putting it in his tunic.

  “Assemble the men in ten minutes and I will speak to them.”

  He was indeed a happy man and he had, he kept telling himself, so much to look forward to.

  ‘I am impatient for the moment when I once more set eyes upon my dearest Lilliana,’ he said to himself, ‘and to feel her soft arms around me and kiss her lips! Oh, how I have longed for this day to come!

  ‘I wonder why she has not replied to my last letter. Perhaps she wishes to introduce the element of surprise and seeks to inflame my love by making me unsure of her.’

  He chuckled to himself. Lilliana was not usually a capricious character, but perhaps she was seeking to punish him just a little for going away and leaving her.

  ‘She will be there,’ he told himself, ‘she would not let me down.’

  From his pocket he took out the lovely deep-yellow ring he had bought for her in India.

  It was set with Ceylonese sapphires and one large diamond. He turned it round in his hand and admired it.

  ‘There is not another ring like this in the whole of England, but then my Lilliana is without equal!’

  He smiled with some satisfaction as he pictured her expression when he gave it to her.

  Would she cry?

  Would she throw her arms around his neck and kiss him, and call him her very own darling?

  He felt sorry to be leaving his Regiment. India had been a wonderful experience for him, although there were one or two incidents that he would prefer to forget.

  The day Lady Marlow had declared her feelings for him for one example –

  Striding out onto the deck, the Earl thought through what he should speak about to his men – something stirring that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

  His speech was received very well and he noticed tears welling up in the eyes of one or two of his men as he thanked them for their courage, loyalty and patience.

  They broke into a spontaneous round of applause as his last words died on his lips.

  “Three cheers for his Lordship!” called one and led the throng in a chorus of ‘hip-hip, hoorays’.

  Later one of the
Generals approached him.

  “So, is there a fair young lady waiting on the quay for you, Lord Sherborne?”

  “I believe there could well be,” he answered with a smile.

  The General clapped him on the back and chuckled.

  “Jolly good show, old man.”

  “I intend to marry her as soon as possible. She has waited far too long for me.”

  “Is she beautiful?”

  “As Venus herself.”

  “Then, you are a most fortunate man and I wish you well. Will you marry in London or Hampshire?”

  “In the little Church in Downleigh. It is where my parents were married and their parents before them.”

  “Then jolly good luck to you!” sighed the General.

  The Earl’s heart was beating so rapidly as the troop ship docked at Southampton.

  He eagerly scanned the throng on the quay, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lilliana, but there was such a crowd he could not pick out a single face amongst them.

  ‘Perhaps if I look for her carriage,’ he thought.

  At last the gangway was dropped onto the quay and the men began to file off the ship and there were delighted shouts of men and women reunited after so long.

  The Earl waited until most of his men had left the ship before he moved towards the gangway.

  On dry land he looked from left to right, hoping to hear her voice calling to him or to see her pushing her way through the crowds.

  But he only found himself jostled as he stood there, fruitlessly searching for Lilliana.

  “My Lord! My Lord!”

  The Earl saw his manservant, Fentiman, beating a path towards him.

  “Fentiman!” he roared in delight.

  “My Lord, it’s very good to see you again. I trust you had a pleasant trip?”

  “It was long and dull. Is Miss Parker with you?”

  Fentiman paused and the Earl could tell by the look on his face that he was hiding something.

  “No, my Lord,” he answered – eventually.

  “Then she has come in her own carriage. We must look for it at once.”

  “I have already had the footman comb the crowds for her, my Lord. I am afraid she is not here.”

  “Not here?” he asked incredulously.

  “No, my Lord.”

  “Then she will be detained. We shall wait a while for her. My luggage has yet to be unloaded – hopefully, she will arrive shortly.”