Mine for Ever Read online

  “Not eating? Very unlike you!” commented Aunt Victoria, with a concerned air, “it will be worry about your father.”

  Lilliana tried to smile but found she could not.

  Next Manners announced that Lord Farringdon had arrived to see Miss Parker and Lilliana started.

  “Goodness! Is that the time already?”

  “Shall I say you are detained, miss?”

  “Ask him to wait, Manners, I will be in shortly.”

  As she rose to leave the table, Elizabeth squeezed her hand. She looked up at her friend with pity in her eyes for she alone knew what she faced.

  “Mama, would you please send Manners in to say I am required, if he stays more than half an hour?”

  “That seems rather churlish, darling – ”

  “I am in not in any mood to sit and make pleasant conversation with anyone today, Mama.”

  Taking a deep breath, Lilliana made her way to the drawing room. She stood by the door for a few seconds to compose herself and then went in.

  As soon as he saw her, he rose and smiled. It was a smile that made her blood run cold.

  “Miss Parker. You look as lovely as ever.”

  “Lord Farringdon, would you care for some tea?”

  He nodded his assent and Lilliana was grateful that she could put off the moment when he would say what was on his mind.

  They made idle conversation about London and the weather, and eventually, Manners brought in a tray of tea.

  “How is your father?” he asked, sipping his tea.

  “He is well enough, but he has been moved to Great Marlborough Street.”

  “Then matters are progressing more speedily than I had thought,” he muttered, setting down his cup.

  “I am sorry, I don’t understand – ” she replied, with alarm rising within in.

  “They are quite obviously seeking to bring the trial forward. They only move prisoners there when a trial is imminent.”

  “Oh! Oh!” she cried, tears springing into her eyes.

  “Now, now, my dear. Calm yourself. I believe that I can help you.”

  “How?”

  “I said I had heard about your father’s unfortunate incident from someone I know.”

  Lilliana hesitated – she hated games like this and was impatient to end the audience as quickly as she could.

  “And he is?”

  “The Chief Inspector is a particular friend of mine and I like to keep myself in the know, as it were. As soon as he sent his men to arrest your father, he contacted me at my Club and asked if I knew him.”

  “So, you found out about Papa before I did?”

  “I am afraid so. But that is how the world works, my dear.”

  He paused and continued to stare her.

  His appearance so revolted her she could not even bring herself to look directly at him.

  “But I digress,” he continued, “I am aware that they are asking a considerable sum for your father’s bail and I am here to offer to pay it. Furthermore, if you will agree to my terms, I will also pay for the best lawyer in London to represent him and he will almost certainly be let off with a caution, indeed the matter may not even go to court.”

  Lilliana’s mouth was as dry as a bone.

  She had a sinking feeling of what would constitute his ‘terms’ and the thought made the blood drain from her head.

  Her heart was beating so hard that it felt as if it was knocking on her ribs. Taking a deep breath, she asked,

  “And your terms?”

  “Is it not obvious? That you agree to marry me!”

  “And if I do not?”

  “Then not only will your father rot in jail, but also, I will make certain that the newspapers hear at once of this whole sorry scandal. I know a journalist who is most keen to find out any rare titbits on the rich and titled – he would almost certainly be promoted were he to break the story of the disgraced MP who is a traitor to his country!”

  “My father is not a traitor!” she cried, rising to her feet in anger. “You must not speak of him in that way!”

  “Then you must agree to marry me – there is just no other alternative,” smirked Lord Farringdon, triumphantly.

  Lilliana walked to the window and tried to stem the flow of tears.

  What could she do?

  “They are saying that he was selling secrets to the Russians about our Indian campaign? Imagine the scandal! You would be unwelcome in every house in the country. And isn’t the penalty for treason still death?”

  “No!” cried Lilliana, “No! No!”

  “Then the solution is simple,” he added in a sinister tone, “marry me and all will be resolved and everyone will live happily ever after. Think how much more your father will love you knowing that you married me to save him!”

  Lilliana sat down and wrung her hands.

  ‘What to do? What to do?’ she said to herself, over and over again. ‘If I marry him, I will live in utter misery for ever and if I don’t – my entire family suffers and Papa may even go to the gallows.’

  The clock struck half-past two and Lilliana bent her head in utter dejection.

  Finally she made up her mind.

  “Very well, I know I have no choice. I will marry you, Lord Farringdon, but don’t expect me to love you.”

  He could not conceal his overwhelming joy as she finished speaking. He leapt up from his chair and grasped her hand, kissing it fervently.

  “You have made the correct decision and love may come. I will go and see your father as soon as I have called my lawyer. I will pay his bail and he will be free by this evening – I promise you. I will return as soon as I have arranged his release. You have my word.”

  He dropped Lilliana’s hand and left the room.

  As soon as she heard the front door close, she fell in a heap onto the floor sobbing.

  ‘What have I done?’ she wept. ‘Oh, Robert! I have freed Papa, but I have betrayed you. I am trapped, utterly trapped!”

  She was still sobbing when Aunt Victoria and her mother rushed into the drawing room.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Lilliana stumbled from the room blind with tears. She pushed past her mother and Aunt Victoria and ran straight upstairs.

  She locked her door and throwing herself onto the bed, she sobbed for hours.

  ‘What have I done?’ she repeated. ‘How can I tell Robert I am to marry another man?’

  She turned her face away from his photograph and stared miserably across the red room.

  Just before dinner there came a soft knocking on her door. At first she ignored it believing it to be Antoinette, but when it became more insistent, she decided she should answer it in case something else had happened.

  She unlocked the door and opened it, expecting to see Elizabeth or her mother, but it was neither.

  “Papa!” she shouted, flinging her arms around his neck. “It is you!”

  This time tears of joy ran down her face.

  “My darling, I just cannot believe it. I thought that I was about to be moved to another jail, and then, they set me free! Lord Farringdon, apparently, put up the bail money for me. Now, what is this I hear that you are to be wed?”

  “So, he has asked you for my hand?”

  “Well, yes. I must confess I was a little surprised, but I do know that he has been calling on you. This is very sudden, but I am very grateful for his intervention.

  “He has said he wishes to buy some land of ours – and will give me a handsome sum for it. I shall be able to pay off the debts from that dreadful American business.”

  She could not meet his eyes and stared down at the carpet, as her father continued,

  “You don’t know what this means to me. I had thought it was going to be a great deal more complicated to obtain my freedom.”

  “I am so pleased for you, Papa,” she murmured, as she tried not to count the cost of his freedom in her heart.

  “When will you make the announcement?”

  “I don
’t know. His Lordship – is in charge of those particulars.”

  “Tell me, Lilliana, do you love him? Honestly?”

  Her heart ached as she stared at her shoes. How could she tell him?

  “No, Papa, but maybe love will come. As you say, he is a very rich man and I will not want for anything.”

  “You are very sensible. Not all love matches make happy marriages, my darling, and he appears to be of good character.”

  She wondered if he had guessed that she had agreed to marry Lord Farringdon to save him. Much as she loved him she knew he could be a selfish man, as well as an ambitious one. Secretly she knew that he had been matched to her mother for financial reasons, although in their case they did seem happy enough.

  They had been fortunate that love had grown and perhaps, being a practical rather than romantic man, he wished for the same for his daughter.

  “Now, please put on your evening gown and make yourself really beautiful as Lord Farringdon is to dine with us tonight and we shall be celebrating. Your mother is a bit shocked at the way matters have turned out, but I think she will come round.”

  Lilliana miserably selected a dress. She did not feel like wearing a bright colour and instead chose a black silk and satin gown with long sleeves and jet beads. It could have easily been a mourning dress.

  ‘But that is just how I feel, as if I am in mourning. I may have Papa back, but I have lost the love of my life and through no fault of my own.’

  As soon as the gong sounded, she went downstairs.

  Lord Farringdon was waiting in the drawing room.

  “My dear, as dazzling as ever!” he said, appreciating the way her glossy black hair complimented the dark silk, “but surely that dress is more suited to a funeral than a celebration?”

  “I don’t have another dress pressed and ready.”

  “Some champagne, darling?” trilled her mother.

  Lilliana felt herself put her hand out mechanically.

  She raised the glass to her lips and felt the bubbles jumping up her nose. Normally she loved champagne, but tonight she felt as if she was drinking poison.

  “I think we should make our announcement in The Times tomorrow, my dear,” suggested Lord Farringdon, “what say you to a wedding at Candlemas?”

  “Whatever you wish,” she murmured, not caring if he had asked for it to be the next day.

  “I don’t hold with long engagements,” continued Lord Farringdon, “but unfortunately, I have a great deal of business to attend to after Christmas.”

  As they walked in to dinner, Lilliana gingerly took Lord Farringdon’s arm and allowed him to lead her in. His nearness revolted her, but she smiled as best she could.

  Later he rose and made a speech about the day they had met and how he had loved her from that point on.

  His hand was trembling as he put it into his pocket and produced a magnificent diamond and ruby ring and slid it on to Lilliana’s ring finger.

  It sparkled under the chandelier light and Elizabeth gasped out loud to see it.

  “Goodness! It is enormous!”

  “Congratulations,” added Aunt Victoria, “here’s to your health.”

  Raising her glass to toast the happy couple, she gave Lilliana a look that told her that she had her doubts.

  Staring blankly at the large rock on the third finger of her left hand, Lilliana did not trust herself to return her look.

  “Do you like it?” whispered Lord Farringdon.

  Lilliana felt that if she opened her mouth to speak, then she would shout and cry out, so she just nodded.

  “You are overcome, I can see. Perhaps you should retire early, my dear. You are looking a little tired.”

  Grateful for the excuse to be alone, Lilliana allowed him to help her up. She bade everyone goodnight and left.

  As she was about to go to bed, someone knocked on her door. She opened it to find Aunt Victoria.

  “Can I come in?” she asked.

  “Of course, it is your house.”

  She took in a short breath and then spoke,

  “My dear, you can tell me to mind my business, but are you really happy for this wedding to take place? You don’t have the air of a girl who is thrilled at her good fortune. Now although I am certain that many marriages are made for reasons other than love, I cannot help but feel that your hand may have been forced.”

  Lilliana stared at her – how did she know?

  “I-I am sure I will like him well enough once we are married.”

  “Lilliana, I am not a fool! One moment your father is in prison and the next, in spite of the demand for a large bail, he is free. I know he is comfortably off – but even he would struggle to raise so much in such a short time.”

  Under such scrutiny Lilliana crumpled.

  “Oh, I hate him! I don’t want to marry him but I have to for Papa’s sake!” she sobbed, “I am doing this for my family and my wishes don’t count for a thing!”

  Aunt Victoria threw her arms around her and drew her close.

  “Please, don’t tell my parents,” she pleaded, as she poured out the whole grisly story between bursts of tears.

  “And your Earl is in India?”

  “He can never be mine – I have to give him up. I will write as soon as I can and inform him.”

  The two of them sat together talking for a long while.

  Lilliana basked in the security of being able to say what she truly felt without the fear of being judged. Although she loved her Mama deeply, she knew that she would not have been able to confide her true feelings to her.

  She had seen how pleased her parents had been that their troubles were over. She felt such an overwhelming sense of responsibility as her marriage would solve a great deal – that much she knew.

  “So, it is a business deal?” asked Aunt Victoria.

  “Yes.”

  “It is such a shame, but not all women are fortunate enough to enjoy a real love match. I, myself, was one such woman and I still count myself lucky every day of my life. Now, I will leave you, dear Lilliana. I shall not speak of our conversation with anyone. Good night.”

  Lilliana watched her leave the room and wondered what she should say to Elizabeth.

  ‘I will speak with her in the morning,’ she decided. ‘And then I will begin to compose a letter to Robert.’

  Her last action before she went to sleep was to turn his photograph face down on the bedside table.

  *

  The next morning, preparations were under way to return to Downleigh.

  Elizabeth decided to stay on a bit longer in London as the young Laird had invited her to tea at the Ritz.

  Over breakfast a copy of The Times containing the announcement of the engagement was passed round.

  Lilliana felt sick to see it in black and white.

  The thought struck her that it was very likely that Robert would see this copy of The Times. Had he not told her in a letter that some of the ex-patriots were in the habit of having it sent out to them?

  Elizabeth noticed that she had been rather quiet and so she suggested that they walk in the park while Lilliana’s trunks were packed and the carriage made ready.

  Walking to Green Park, Elizabeth took her friend’s arm and looked deeply into her eyes.

  “My dearest Lilliana, I have to say I am shocked at your acceptance of Lord Farringdon’s proposal – I thought you could not stand the man?”

  “I cannot tell you a lie, Elizabeth, it is as far from my dreams as could be possible.”

  “Then you have agreed to marry Lord Farringdon because he has helped your father, is that not the truth?”

  Lilliana could not prevent the tears from falling as she nodded and dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief.

  “I have done it for the good of my family.”

  “It is a noble sacrifice, Lilliana, but what of love? What of the Earl?”

  “Please, don’t speak of him! I cannot bear to hear his name as it causes me too much anguish.”
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br />   “But he believes that you are to be married to him on his return! You have to write to him and tell him what has happened.”

  “I don’t think I could break it to him in a letter – but I cannot see another way. I do believe I am hoping for a miracle and that the wedding will not happen.”

  “Darling, you must be realistic! You always say I am the romantic one, but just to hope for the impossible is foolish. Forgive me for speaking out so.”

  Lilliana sat down on a bench under some trees and dried her tears.

  “You are right. I have decided not to reply to any of Robert’s letters for now. Once I have composed the appropriate letter, I will send it to him.”

  “It is a most difficult situation,” agreed Elizabeth, “naturally your first loyalty is to your parents. See how happy they were at breakfast? It is such a sad fact that we women are not always in control of our own destinies and must accept decisions without question.”

  “Your aunt said as much too.”

  “Aunt Victoria is very wise.”

  “Elizabeth, you are such a good friend to me.”

  She squeezed her friend’s hand and felt overcome with sadness.

  If things progressed well for her with the Scottish Laird, then she would be most fortunate.

  Lilliana tried not to feel envious.

  As they walked back Lilliana felt very unhappy.

  How long before Robert saw The Times?

  And what if a friend or relative wrote to him before she had the chance to tell him?

  *

  Lord Farringdon followed her back to Hampshire the day after she had left London with her parents.

  Every afternoon he came to call upon her and either took her for a drive in his new phaeton or took tea with her in the drawing room.

  Her mother had invited him for Christmas Day and Lilliana could have wept with frustration.

  After Church they sat down to a large meal.

  Lilliana ate very little and tried to look enthusiastic when Lord Farringdon presented her with a huge diamond necklace that had belonged to his mother.

  “It is beautiful!” crowed Lady Parker, sighing over the heaviness of it in her hand. “Do put it on, darling! Lord Farringdon will want to see how it looks on you.”