Wish for Love Read online

“When my Godmother died, she left me a prayer book and a picture of the Holy Family fleeing out of Egypt. I still have both of them.”

  Dr. Dawson gave one of his amused laughs.

  “A nice thought,” he said, “but hardly equivalent to being left a few million!”

  “No, that is true,” Mariota agreed. “If ever I have any children, I must be careful to choose them very rich Godparents, who will remember them in their will!”

  “A good idea,” Dr. Dawson said, “but I expect you will find in life, as I have Miss Mariota, that money goes to money and the poor always seem to manage to stay poor.”

  He laughed as if he had made a good joke and stepped into his gig, which a groom had been holding, although Mariota had the idea that his horse, even if he had been left free, would not have strayed more than a few feet.

  “Thank you for bringing Jeremy home,” she remembered to say as the doctor started to move away.

  “I could not allow him to get his smart new boots dusty,” the doctor replied, “and I have a suspicion that his bag was a great deal heavier when he came back than when he left.”

  That was undoubtedly true, as Mariota could see, because Jeremy’s bag that he had taken from the gig had been left at the bottom of the steps when he had followed her into the house.

  She bent down to lift it and found it too heavy for her when a groom who was the Earl’s servant came to her side to say,

  “I’ll do that, miss. Where do you want it put?”

  “Thank you,” Mariota answered. “That is very kind of you. Would you place it in my brother’s bedroom? It is exactly opposite the one in which his Lordship is sleeping.”

  “Certainly, miss.”

  The groom carried the heavy case up the stairs jauntily as if it weighed nothing and Mariota thought that, if all her wishes could come true, she would certainly wish for more servants and certainly one to carry luggage up and downstairs.

  She went into the house and, as she stood in the hall, she could hear Jeremy’s voice in the distance and guessed that he was showing Lady Elizabeth over the house.

  She was quite certain that he was doing so with pride and Mariota wondered if Lady Elizabeth with all her wealth would be scornful of the walls and ceilings stained with damp and everything in the rooms threadbare.

  Then she told herself that she was feeling exactly what she was afraid Jeremy and Lynne would feel when the Earl left.

  ‘I must not compare what is happening now with what will happen afterwards,’ she told herself severely. ‘We are lucky, very lucky to have something new to talk about and to have known, even for a short, while such interesting and delightful people.’

  She knew it would be impossible for her ever to forget the Earl and, since he was now a part of her dream world, she would feel even when he had gone that he was still with her.

  She walked slowly up the stairs and, as she did so, saw Lady Coddington coming to meet her.

  “I have stayed with Alvic for such a little time that I am sure you are pleased with me, Mariota. I think he wants you to read to him. I offered to do so because I thought you might have something else to do, but he said he preferred your voice to mine!”

  “I am sure that’s not true,” Mariota protested.

  “I am sure it is,” Lady Coddington smiled. “Like all brothers, Alvic is very blunt with me when he wishes to be.”

  “As Jeremy is with me,” Mariota replied.

  They smiled at each other and Lady Coddington said,

  “I will go and see your father, then take Elizabeth home.”

  “I am afraid she will be very disappointed at not being able to see the Earl.”

  “There is always tomorrow,” Lady Coddington replied, “and I expect he will soon be well enough to come to Madresfield.”

  The way she spoke made Mariota feel as if a cold hand touched her heart.

  She saw waiting for the Earl the grandeur, the luxury and the people who meant something in his life and who were a part of it.

  “Once he goes, he will never give us another thought,’ she told herself.

  Suddenly it was terribly important that she should not miss one second of the time she could be with him and, without intending to, she began to run down the passage towards the King’s room.

  Only when she reached it did she feel breathless, not only with hurrying but also with her own thoughts.

  She opened the door and walked in and as she did so the Earl said,

  “Dr. Dawson said I am to be quiet. I cannot understand why you allow all these people to pester me, knowing that it is bound to give me a headache.”

  Mariota walked towards the bed aware as she did so that the Earl was scowling at her.

  “I am sorry.” she said, “I thought you would want to see your sister and perhaps Lady Elizabeth just for a moment.”

  “I have no wish to see anybody,” the Earl replied crossly. “Read me the Editorial in The Times and then the Parliamentary Report.”

  He lay back against his pillows and closed his eyes.

  Feeling as if she had been reproached for something she had not done, Mariota took up the newspaper and started to read.

  She had only gone a little way through the editorial when she was aware that the Earl had opened his eyes again and was watching her.

  *

  All through luncheon Jeremy talked while Mariota and her father listened.

  He had been longing to relate what had happened in London and how exciting it had been.

  “I was very fortunate in finding two men I knew when I went to the tailors,” he said. “One of them was Maynard, who you will remember, Papa. He used to live about five miles away when we were children. The other was a man who stayed with the Squire for the hunting last year and who came to dinner. Do you remember?”

  “I remember,” Mariota answered him.

  She recalled what a struggle it had been to produce a meal that was to Jeremy’s satisfaction and which had not only cost money they could not afford but also a great deal of imagination.

  However, the meal had in fact been excellent and old Jacob had made a great effort to put on one of the liveried coats with its silver buttons that were kept for smart occasions, then waited quite creditably if rather slowly.

  “They seemed delighted to see me,” Jeremy went on, “and advised me which clothes to buy. Then they took me off to their Club and entertained me the whole time I was in London.”

  “How wonderful for you!” Mariota exclaimed, thinking in that case he would not have had to spend all the precious money.

  As if he was aware what she was thinking, he said,

  “You are quite right. I spent very little, except on my clothes.”

  “You certainly look very smart,” Lord Fordcombe said as if he had noticed them for the first time, “but why did you want new clothes all of a sudden?”

  “I had grown out of my others, Papa, and I either had to borrow yours or go naked.”

  “Then I am very glad you bought some new ones,” his father replied. “Tell me what you saw in London.”

  Because it had obviously not occurred to him to wonder where Jeremy had obtained the money to expend on new clothes, Mariota sighed with relief.

  Jeremy launched into a long description of the theatres he had attended with his friends and the dance halls they had taken him to later and the uncomfortable moment passed.

  In the short time he had been away, Jeremy had certainly filled every moment of it with amusement and she wondered how long it would be before he would feel he must go back for more.

  When her father returned to his study, Jeremy said,

  “Lady Elizabeth is a very attractive girl. I would like to see more of her.”

  “I should not waste your time,” Mariota piped up.

  “What do you mean by that?” Jeremy enquired.

  “Lady Coddington told me that she inherited a great fortune from her American Godmother and I am certain that if you pursued her to Madresfie
ld, the Duke would think that you were a fortune-hunter and send you packing.”

  “I was not thinking of marrying her! I just thought that she was attractive. I would have liked to invite her to luncheon, only I did not dare. But actually she said she would ride over here this afternoon with a groom and I was just wondering if I might borrow the Earl’s stallion to ride with her.”

  Mariota looked astonished and Jeremy added with a twinkle in his eye,

  “I enjoyed riding him before.”

  “But surely you would not ride him again without permission? ‘ Mariota questioned, “and I don’t like to bother the Earl.”

  “Why not?” Jeremy enquired.

  Mariota had no answer to this, but she told him what the Earl had promised Lynne, that she should ride on Saturday when she had no lessons and he was sending a horse from Madresfield and a groom to escort her.

  “If she is riding, I am certainly going to” Jeremy insisted.

  “No, please, Jeremy, please – you cannot do that!” Mariota exclaimed.

  “If his Lordship can avail himself of what to all intents and purposes are my stables, I cannot believe he would grudge me a ride on his horse.”

  Jeremy walked from the dining room as he spoke and Mariota realised that he had made up his mind and nothing she could say would change it.

  She felt embarrassed that once again they were imposing on the Earl.

  When she took his tea up to him at four o’clock, she found that he had slept, as Dr. Dawson wished him to do, for two hours and thought it best to say nothing.

  “I feel much better,” the Earl said, as she put the tray down beside him.

  He looked at it and smiled.

  “I see you have made me some brandy snaps,” he said. “I have not had them since I was a child.”

  “I hope I have made them right.”

  “I am sure you have,” the Earl replied, “for amongst other virtues you are an exceptional cook.”

  “I enjoy cooking, but only when I have the right ingredients.”

  The Earl sent Hicks back with a message to the Duke’s chef for everything she needed to make the dishes he liked best.

  These included ingredients for a crème brûlée, which they had not seen for a long time and, when they arrived Mariota was so delighted at having what she thought of as ‘the tools of the trade’, that she did not protest but soothed her conscience by thinking that as it was for the Earl she need not feel guilty about it.

  She felt at the same time that she had strayed a very long way from her first decision that, as he was their guest, he must be content with what they could provide or else go without.

  Now, as Mariota poured out the Earl’s tea for him and sat in the chair beside the bed, she said,

  “I am sorry you are not well enough to see your other caller today. Lady Elizabeth is very attractive.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “She is very beautifully dressed.”

  She thought the Earl was about to say something and then instead he enquired,

  “Can you play the piano, Mariota?”

  It was something he had not asked her before and there was quite a considerable pause before she replied,

  “Yes – Mama insisted that both Lynne and I should learn to play quite well and it is something I greatly enjoy when I have the time.”

  “I would like to hear you play,” he said. “I think somehow in my mind I have always associated you with music.”

  “It is strange you should say that,” Mariota answered, “because, when I am telling myself stories and when they are happening in my dreams, there is always music in the background. It is the music of the wind in the trees, the birds waking in the early morning and sometimes the waves of the sea become a melody which I remember when I wake.”

  “When I am well enough to come downstairs, that is what you shall play for me.”

  “If we had a magician in the house,” Mariota said, “he would order the piano to fly upstairs and place it in the room next door where I could play to you now and soothe you to sleep.”

  “Your voice does that,” the Earl replied, “and that is why I was sure you are musical, Mariota. Lovely voices haunt me.”

  The way he spoke, Mariota thought, was as if he was remembering a voice that had haunted him and she was sure it was that of a beautiful woman.

  She thought she would like to believe that when he left Queen’s Ford her voice would haunt him.

  But she was certain that would be impossible because there would be so many lovely women around him that he would have no reason to remember her.

  The Earl’s eyes were on her face.

  “You look sad, Mariota. What are you thinking about?”

  “I was thinking about you,” she replied truthfully.

  “What were you thinking?”

  There was a little pause before Mariota managed to reply,

  “I was – thinking that, when you are up and about and resume your normal life, there will be no time for you to be haunted with so many – friends about you.”

  The way she said the word ‘friends’ told the Earl exactly what she was thinking.

  He smiled and said,

  “Once again, Mariota, you are being very modest in underestimating yourself.”

  There was a little pause before he added,

  “You know that I shall be haunted by you.”

  The way he spoke made Mariota look at him in astonishment.

  Then he said,

  “I don’t wish to talk about it now. Read to me, read me anything, I just want to hear your voice.”

  He sounded so strange that Mariota felt a dozen questions coming to her lips, but knew it would be a mistake to utter them.

  He was obviously on edge and, fearing that despite his rest his head might be hurting him, she quickly picked up the newspaper and opened it at random.

  Without considering, Mariota began to read aloud and then realised that she was reading a description of a party given by the Prince Regent at Carlton House, how the State rooms had been decorated, fairy lights and fountains arranged in the garden and the guests who were received by the Regent.

  As she read, Mariota’s imagination made her almost see the ladies in their glittering jewels and beautiful gowns escorted by gentlemen blazing with decorations.

  She found herself enthralled by the descriptions of the music played and the supper served, all characteristic of the Prince’s hospitality.

  She felt almost as if she could hear the brilliant, witty, scintillating conversation that filled the air.

  Only when she had finished, did she look at the Earl and was aware that he was watching her.

  “You should have been there!” she remarked.

  “And so should you.”

  Mariota laughed.

  “I would certainly have been the Goose Girl in the Palace of Prince Charming and very much out of place.”

  “If I remember that Fairy story correctly,” the Earl said, “the Goose Girl’s beauty stunned them all and the Prince fell in love with her. That, Mariota, is what should happen to you.”

  She laughed a little shyly.

  “In my Fairy story, yes,” she said, “but in reality I should have hidden myself in a corner or run away and the Prince would not even have been aware that I had been present.”

  “In my Fairy story,” the Earl said very quietly, “he would not only have found you, but would have been aware that you were what he had been looking for all his life!”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Mariota came back from Church and put her prayer book down on the hall table before she undid the ribbons of her bonnet and threw it on a chair.

  It had been a rather more boring Service than usual and she had thought that the sermon would never end.

  Then she knew the truth was she was longing to go back to the house to see the Earl and everything that prevented her from doing so seemed like a gigantic obstacle in her way.

  Because the living
of the Church belonged to her father and he could not afford to pay a Vicar as had always been traditional, the Reverend Theodosius Dowty, the very old incumbent of the next village, now conducted the Services.

  This meant that they had only one Service on a Sunday and everybody crowded into the small Church from the oldest inhabitant to the youngest.

  It was rather pathetic, Mariota thought for the first time, that the only entertainment in the village was the Service on Sunday, when they all put on their best clothes to see each other.

  She sat alone in the huge family pew in the Chancel with the Forde coat-of-arms above it.

  She prayed fervently for the Earl that he might get well and yet at the same time she could not subdue her longing to keep him at Queen’s Ford for as long as possible.

  Every day it seemed to her that she dreaded more and more the moment when he would say goodbye and she would never see him again.

  It was quite an effort to force her prayers away from the Earl to her family and she prayed for them as she always had – that Jeremy would not grow bored, that Lynne would somehow, by some miracle, be able to go to London and attend the balls like any other debutante, as her friend Elaine would be able to do.

  ‘It’s so unfair that we should have so little and have to account for every penny,’ Mariota told herself.

  Then she felt shocked by her own ingratitude.

  Who could have imagined a fortnight ago that they would have anybody as exciting and attractive as the Earl staying in the house?

  And that they would be eating the delicious food and drink he had insisted on providing for them all because he needed it himself.

  ‘I really am grateful, God,’ she said to herself.

  At the same time there was that feeling in her heart that, when the Earl and everything belonging to him vanished, it would be like having seen a mirage and knowing it had no reality.

  Now the house seemed very quiet and she wondered where Lynne and Jeremy were.

  They had both refused to go to Church with her and she thought that she had better look in the drawing room to tell them she was back before she went upstairs to see the Earl.

  She opened the drawing room door and then stood transfixed.