An Adventure of Love Read online

  “Do you really believe, if you are honest, my Lord, that the King will pay any attention to my ideas or opinions?”

  She saw that the Marquis looked surprised at her question, but he answered her,

  “I feel sure that anyone as beautiful as Your Royal Highness, and also so intelligent, will find it easy to make His Majesty or anyone else for that matter, listen to what you have to say.”

  “I hope – you are right,” Zorina responded in a small voice. “It is, however, rather – frightening that you expect so – much of me just because I am partly English.”

  “Which means,” the Marquis stipulated firmly, “that you have the full support of Her Majesty and my Cabinet behind you.”

  “Unfortunately you will all be a great distance away!” Zorina remarked.

  “I am sure that you will find our Ambassador, Lord Melbray, a great help,” the Marquis replied. “Your mother has just been telling me that he is an old friend of hers.”

  Zorina did not answer and he went on as if he was thinking it out,

  “It’s a pity that Lord Melbray’s wife is dead, because I am sure that you would have found her a delightful lady, as we all did. But there will, I am sure, be a number of English ladies in Leothia and you can choose one of them to be your Lady-in-Waiting.”

  This was another aspect that Zorina had not considered, that as Queen she would have Ladies-in-Waiting to watch over her.

  She felt as if this added even more bars to the cage that she was about to be confined in.

  The Marquis, however, was very kind and told her that he had once visited Leothia.

  He described the beauty of the high mountains and the charm of its people who had, of course, intermarried with the countries on either side of them.

  “One matter I have already ascertained,” Zorina told him, “is that I shall not find the language at all difficult. I can, of course, speak German fluently and I have a little knowledge of Romanian.”

  She felt that she was boasting somewhat but still carried on,

  “Serbian is a little more difficult, but naturally all the languages owe a great deal to Greek, which makes it easier for me.”

  “I have already learned how talented you are,” the Marquis replied, “and I am not exaggerating when I tell you that none of Her Majesty’s relatives who have married recently have had as much intellect as is attributed to you.”

  Zorina smiled at the compliment.

  But she was well aware that the Marquis was doing everything in his power to make her look forward to being the Queen of Leothia.

  She had the uncomfortable feeling, however, that there was a great deal more that he did not say to her.

  And it was only after he had left that she became aware that he had evaded very skilfully answering any direct questions about the King.

  She felt perceptively that the Marquis had more or less admitted that King Otto was not behaving exactly as the British wished.

  He had said nothing specifically to support this idea and yet she was quite sure that it was true.

  She wondered whether on the journey she would dare to ask Rudolf to talk to her frankly about his father and whether he would be brave enough to answer her questions candidly.

  *

  In one aspect the three weeks before she left for Leothia seemed to Zorina to fly by because there was so much to do.

  In another they were intolerably slow because, although she knew that it was wrong, she was counting the hours until she could see Rudolf again.

  Finally the last of the boxes containing her trousseau, a large pile of them, were delivered to their small apartment.

  Nanny, grumbling that she had ‘only one pair of hands’ packed the gowns into Zorina’s new trunks, which were just one part of her trousseau.

  Zorina had been clever enough to persuade her mother, who had been difficult about it, to buy two new gowns for herself that the Queen would pay the bill for.

  “It’s quite easy, Mama,” she said, “I shall order a gown that I know will suit you and, as we are almost the same height, you can fit it when I am too busy or too indisposed to do so.”

  “I could not possibly do such a thing!” the Princess expostulated.

  “Don’t be so silly, Mama. You know as well as I do that you cannot afford a new gown and, if you buy one which is smart enough for the Wedding and a hat to match, it will mean you and Nanny going hungry for months.”

  She could see than her mother was unconvinced and so she went on,

  “It would not matter to the Queen if I am one dress short and if you don’t agree to do as I suggest, I shall go to Windsor Castle and ask her point blank to dress you as befits the mother of a Royal bride!”

  Princess Louise gave a cry of horror.

  “How can you think of doing anything so terrible?”

  “I promise you that is what I will do unless you agree to what I say,” Zorina insisted.

  Finally, because there really was no money, the Princess capitulated.

  Zorina persuaded her to have not only an exquisitely smart dress for the Wedding but also an evening gown.

  “The one you made for me will fit beautifully into my trousseau and I have only worn it once,” Zorina pointed out, “whilst your best gown is almost in rags and, if we are truthful, very out of date.”

  There were arguments and protests, but Zorina finally got her way and the Princess could therefore afford a few new feathers for the hat that she was going to travel in.

  Nanny sewed a new velvet collar onto her travelling cape so that it did not look quite so shabby.

  “Now you look lovely, Mama,” Zorina approved. “And don’t forget your young man will be coming with us.”

  For a moment the Princess did not know who she was referring to. Then, when she realised that she was referring to the British Ambassador, she said quickly,

  “You must not call him my ‘young man’. It is true that he lived near my home when I was young and we used to dance together at the Hunt Balls, but once I had met your father, I never thought of him again.”

  “But I am sure he thought of you!” Zorina countered incorrigibly.

  Later, when they were travelling in a very comfortable drawing room coach attached to the train they had boarded at Ostend, Zorina realised that she had been right in thinking that Lord Melbray still admired her mother.

  He certainly made every effort to amuse and interest her and, as the journey progressed, Zorina reflected that she had not seen her mother look so happy for a long time.

  It was difficult, however, for her to smile and talk with the rest of the party.

  This consisted of the Leothian Foreign Secretary and his wife and two other ladies who had been appointed as temporary Ladies-in-Waiting until she could choose her own.

  There were two aides-de-camp of the King, who were both middle-aged, and Rudolf himself.

  She had not seen him again before they met at Waterloo Station in London, where there were a number of people to see them off from the Leothian Embassy and from the Foreign Office.

  The Marquis of Salisbury had come as well in his capacity as Foreign Secretary rather than as Prime Minister.

  Once again he said to Zorina in almost a whisper,

  “I am relying on Your Royal Highness and Lord Melbray will, I am sure, be sending me glowing reports on your progress.”

  He smiled before he added,

  “I am sure that the moment they see you the Leothians will take you to their hearts. I need not say again how important you are to the Balance of Power in Europe at this particular moment in our history.”

  It was while she was talking to the Marquis on the platform, which had been covered with a red carpet, that she had seen Rudolf arriving in a smart carriage.

  At the sight of him her heart leapt so violently in her breast that she felt almost as if she might faint.

  Then, as he walked towards her and the small group around her, she knew that the only thing she wanted to do was to f
ling herself into his arms and tell him how much she loved him.

  She realised as he approached nearer to her that he deliberately avoided meeting her eyes, although she was certain that he was as conscious of her as she was of him.

  Then, while she had no idea of what the Marquis was saying to her and could not hear him properly anyway because of the chatter around them, Rudolf came towards her.

  “You must forgive me, Your Royal Highness,” he began in a cold impersonal voice, “for not being here to receive you as I should have been. Unfortunately the carriage that was bringing me was involved in an accident with a curricle.”

  “You were not – hurt?” Zorina exclaimed in a frightened tone.

  “Only angry that I should be late for Your Royal Highness,” Rudolf replied.

  He did not look directly at her as he spoke.

  She knew from the coldness of his voice that he was deliberately trying to isolate himself from her.

  It was almost, she thought, with a sense of relief that he turned to the Marquis.

  “I must apologise to you as well, my Lord.”

  “It is quite unnecessary, Your Royal Highness!” the Marquis replied. “Our streets are becoming so crowded, and there are so many bad drivers, that we have an increasing number of accidents taking place, which I find extremely regrettable.”

  “It is the same in our major streets,” Rudolf remarked.

  Zorina was not listening.

  She was only wondering if he was aware of how violently her heart was throbbing or how handsome he was looking in his travelling cape.

  She thought now that she must have forgotten how good-looking he was and how in comparison every other man seemed to pale into insignificance.

  “I love you! I love you!” she wanted to blurt out, but she realised that he was aware of it anyway.

  Although he was controlling himself, she could feel his heart reaching out towards hers and they were as indivisibly joined as if she was in his arms.

  The Station Master, resplendent in gold braid, told the Marquis respectfully that it was time for the passengers to board the train before the whistle was blown.

  There were a number of people who Zorina had to say ‘goodbye’ to.

  Then she was bowed aboard into the private coach and those who were travelling with her followed.

  As soon as the train started, the Stewards brought in coffee and even breakfast for those who were hungry.

  Zorina soon found herself seated in a comfortable armchair by a window and her mother was next to her.

  The seat opposite her, however, was unoccupied, and it was only after the train had started that she realised that it was intended for Rudolf.

  But he was deliberately talking to one of the aides-de-camp on the other side of the coach.

  Finally and it seemed reluctantly, because Lord Melbray wanted to talk to him, he came and sat down.

  “We have a long journey in front of us,” the Ambassador remarked. “But I think we shall be pretty comfortable.”

  Rudolf looked as if he might disagree, but Lord Melbray continued,

  “The sleeper that has been attached to the train which we will board at Ostend is, I am told, the most up to date in the whole of Europe.”

  “I shall look forward to seeing it,” Rudolf replied. “I have always been interested in trains ever since I was a small boy.”

  “I have always heard that Your Royal Highness’s chief interest was climbing,” Lord Melbray observed.

  “It is true that I have climbed most of the mountains in my country and I am planning at the moment an expedition to the Himalayas.”

  Zorina, who was listening to this conversation, drew in her breath.

  So he had meant it when he had told her that he would go away once she was married and she thought despairingly that she might never see him again.

  “Now that is most interesting,” Lord Melbray was commenting, but Zorina could listen no further.

  She felt as if Rudolf had deliberately stuck a dagger into her breast, but by putting half the world between them he would never ever kill her love.

  ‘Stay with – me! Stay – with me!’ she wanted to beg him.

  She felt her desperate thoughts flying towards him and he must be fully aware of them.

  She did not see him once they had embarked on the ferry that was to carry them from Tilbury to Ostend. There was a private cabin for herself and her mother and another for the rest of the ladies in the party.

  At Ostend their drawing room coach with a sleeper attached to it was at a platform that was sealed off from other travellers.

  It was only with a great deal of shunting and letting off of steam that they were finally attached to the Express.

  Rudolf appeared to be everywhere except with her and Zorina felt miserably that they would never have a chance to speak to each other before they reached Leothia.

  When it was time to retire, after a delicious dinner accompanied by excellent wines, she realised that there were three bedrooms in their coach.

  These were to be occupied by her mother, herself and Rudolf and everybody else was accommodated in a separate sleeping car.

  As they walked to their individual compartments, the Princess said,

  “If there is one thing I hate, my dearest, it is trying to sleep in a train. Some people say that the sound of the wheels lulls them to sleep, but they keep me awake and make me afraid that we might crash.”

  “I am so sorry, Mama. But it is important that you should sleep as we have such a long journey ahead of us.”

  “I shall surely sleep,” the Princess replied, “because Nanny insisted that I bring a little laudanum with me.”

  “Oh, no, Mama,” Zorina protested, “I am sure it is very bad for you!”

  “Of course it is,” the Princess agreed. “At the same time it’s better than looking hollow-eyed and pale-faced tomorrow.”

  “You must not take it,” Zorina insisted. “You were looking lovely today and I know that Lord Melbray thought so too.”

  “Oh, Zorina, you do have ridiculous ideas. I doubt if he has even noticed me. We were reminiscing about old times when we were both very young.”

  Zorina did not answer.

  She merely felt that her mother was overdoing her nonchalance about Lord Melbray’s attentions.

  It was only when she had undressed that she realised, her mother having taken laudanum, that there was a chance that she might be able to speak to Rudolf alone.

  She pretended to herself that she was looking for the magazine that she had been reading during the journey as she crept from her compartment into the drawing room.

  When the Stewards had left them to retire to their own quarters in another part of the train, they had extinguished all the lights.

  Zorina, going to the seat where she had sat all day, pulled back the curtains from the window to find that there was a full moon whose silver light was now flooding in through the window. It enabled her to see the empty seats and a number of papers scattered about.

  She waited, not even daring to pray that Rudolf would know where she was.

  Then suddenly she realised that he was there!

  As he came quietly towards her, she looked up at him, feeling that nothing else mattered except that they were alone and together.

  He sat down beside her and she saw that he was dressed as he had been before everyone retired to bed.

  For a moment she just sat gazing at him with her hair falling over her shoulders and over the expensive new satin negligée that was part of her trousseau.

  She then raised her face to his and for a long moment they looked at each other in the moonlight and there was no need for words.

  Then at last in a whisper, Zorina said,

  “I-I had to – talk to you!”

  “There is nothing to say,” Rudolf replied. “But somehow I just knew that you would be here.”

  “Mama will – not wake and I – felt that you would hear me – calling for y
ou.”

  “My precious girl, that is something you must not do.”

  “Why not?” Zorina asked. “We are not – hurting anybody at this moment – and it will be something special to – remember.”

  There was a little silence before Rudolf said,

  “How can you be so exquisitely lovely and look as if you have just dropped from the sky?”

  Zorina gave a little sigh.

  “If only we could go there and that was the end of our journey.”

  “I have never suffered,” he said, “such agonies as these past weeks since I left you behind at Windsor Castle. I thought that the best thing I could do was to vanish off the face of the Earth, hoping perhaps that we might meet again in some other life.”

  “When you talk – like that – you have – forgotten one thing,” Zorina murmured.

  “What is that?”

  “That I am – feeling just the same as you – and the only thing for me that – makes it necessary to stay – alive is that you are somewhere – near me.”

  “My darling!”

  He made a movement as if to touch her and then abruptly stopped himself from doing so.

  “If you talk to me like that,” he said, “I will go mad! I love you until I can see nothing but your face and hear nothing but your voice.”

  He drew in his breath deeply before he went on,

  “This is a mistake! Because I know that it is not only making it worse for me but also for you and we must not do it again.”

  “B-but – I have to talk to you – ” Zorina started to plead.

  Rudolf shook his head.

  “You know as well as I do that love does not stand still, it either increases or dies. Our love will never die! It will only increase until it overwhelms us and we will not be able to resist it.”

  Zorina knew exactly what he was saying and after a long silence she murmured in a voice that he could hardly hear,

  “M-must we – resist it?”

  “I am older than you,” Rudolf said harshly, “and therefore I have to do what is right and prevent you from doing what is wrong.”

  “But – I cannot – help loving you,” Zorina sighed pathetically.

  “Nor I you,” Rudolf replied. “But we have to think of my country and the people in England who are relying on you to represent them.”