Never Forget Love Read online

Nerissa gave a little gasp.

  Then, as if what she was thinking made Delphine angry, she swept out of the bedroom without another word, shutting the door noisily behind her.

  Chapter Four

  Nerissa awoke early as she always did and took a minute or two to realise where she was.

  Then, with an irrepressible feeling of excitement, she remembered that she had arranged with Harry last night that they would go riding very early in the morning.

  He had taken her to one side and told her,

  “The Duke has said that any time I want a horse I only have to go to the stables and ask for one. Why do you not ride with me early tomorrow morning before everybody else gets worked up about the Horse Show?”

  Nerissa’s eyes lit up.

  “Can we really do that?” she had asked.

  “There is nothing to stop us,” Harry had answered, “unless you oversleep.”

  “I shall certainly not do that if there is a chance of riding,” Nerissa had replied.

  She was glad that she was able to retire to bed early.

  Everyone in the party seemed to know each other well and she could not help feeling out of it, first when the ladies retired to the drawing room leaving the gentlemen to their port, and afterwards when it was quite obvious that, like Delphine, each one was concentrating on one particular man and so had no wish to talk to anybody else.

  Most of the Duke’s female guests were extremely sophisticated beautiful women, who held important titles.

  They were scintillatingly dressed and their complexions were most skilfully enhanced by the use of rouge and powder.

  They made Nerissa feel very young and, although she was wearing what she thought was a beautiful gown belonging to Delphine, somewhat dowdy beside them.

  She had chosen one that to her had seemed almost too grand for a ball in London, but, when she came downstairs, she realised that the main difference between herself and the other ladies was that she wore no jewellery.

  The maid who was looking after her was aware of this and said to her,

  “As you’ve no jewels, miss, I wondered if you’d like some flowers to wear in your hair and perhaps on your gown.”

  Nerissa clasped her hands together.

  “How kind of you to think of it, Mary. I don’t suppose anybody will notice me, but I would not wish my own family to feel ashamed of my appearance.”

  “I’m sure they’d never do that, miss,” Mary replied sincerely. “There’s a little bunch of white roses here that I can fix at the back of your head.”

  The white roses most certainly enhanced her appearance, Nerissa thought, and there was another bunch of them to wear in the front of the gown, which she had felt when she put it on, was too low to be really decent.

  When she went down the stairs, however, and saw that Delphine was wearing a sparkling necklace of diamonds and pearls with earrings to match and bracelets on each of her wrists, she felt almost conspicuous by being inconspicuous.

  Reaching the drawing room, she went at once to her father’s side and could see by the expression on his face that he was enjoying himself.

  When Harry joined them both, she knew that everything to him was a delight that had raised his spirits and made him seem even more handsome than usual.

  But Harry had not joined her after dinner, being very busily engaged with a lovely lady glittering in sapphires who was apparently making him laugh a great deal before they moved into the room where there was dancing.

  Nerissa danced once or twice and then, when she thought that no one would notice, she slipped upstairs to bed.

  ‘It has been a wonderful evening,’ she told herself. ‘But I don’t want to spoil it if people feel that they have to talk to me because I am sitting or standing alone.’

  Now she put on the smart habit that Delphine had given her, which was of a soft blue material and there was a lace-edged petticoat to wear underneath it.

  Then when she had arranged her hair, Nerissa thought, as it was so early in the morning and there would be nobody about, that there would be no need for her to wear the elegant riding hat that went with the habit until later in the day.

  She always rode bare-headed at home and, feeling sure that there would only be Harry to see her now, she felt freer and more comfortable as she was.

  She opened her bedroom door quietly so as not to disturb anybody and tiptoed past her father’s room knowing that Harry’s was on the other side.

  She did not knock but opened the door expecting to find him nearly dressed and waiting for her.

  To her surprise she saw that he was still in bed and fast asleep.

  She was just going to wake him up when she realised that he was sleeping very deeply, snoring slightly and the clothes he had worn the night before were scattered untidily over a chair and on the floor.

  Nerissa looked at him for a few moments.

  Then she knew that this meant that Harry had been very late coming to bed and also had doubtless drunk too much of the Duke’s excellent wines.

  Not that he would have been drunk for Harry was far too sensible for that. But because they could not afford alcohol at home and he seldom had enough money to buy it at Oxford, it would be far more intoxicating to him than to another man of his age who was used to it.

  Nerissa went a little nearer to the bed and, as she looked down at her brother in the dim light coming from the sides of the drawn curtains, she thought that he looked very young and very vulnerable.

  She decided it was important that he should be at his very best today of all days, when he would be seeing magnificent horses, talking to their owners about them and hoping to please the Duke so that he would invite him to Lyn another time.

  Very gently she then tiptoed from the room and closing the door went on alone down the passage.

  Harry had told her the night before the way to the stables and she found them without any difficulty, only passing a few servants who looked at her in astonishment obviously not expecting one of the guests to be about so early.

  There was also, as she might have expected, not much activity in the stables.

  But, when she finally found a groom and told him that she wished to have a horse to ride, one was saddled for her immediately.

  It was a spirited young bay, but at the same time had obviously been well trained and, as Nerissa was helped into the saddle by the groom, she thought that this was certainly one of the most exciting moments in her life.

  “If you keeps to the right when you gets out of the stables, miss,” the groom said, “you’ll find your way to some flat ground where there be an excellent gallop.”

  “Thank you,” Nerissa smiled, knowing that the preparations for the Horse Show were all on the left.

  Slowly, knowing that she had never ridden such a fine horse before and yet aware that she would have no difficulty in controlling him because he responded to every touch of the reins, she moved off.

  She rode through the Park taking care to avoid the rabbit holes under the trees and then saw ahead of her the flat ground that the groom had described.

  It must be a mile long, she thought, and then, taking a deep breath, she urged her horse forward, knowing that she would go faster than she had ever ridden in her whole life.

  It was thrilling to feel the soft wind in her face and hear only the thud of hoofs.

  Her eyes were now half-blinded by the light from the early sun and, as she flew over the ground, she thought that she might have stepped put into one of the Fairytales that she told herself when she was busy cleaning the house.

  As she saw the end of the ride coming nearer, she pulled in her horse, knowing that they had both enjoyed the sensation of moving so swiftly and were both now a little breathless.

  When she had come to a standstill, she looked back and realised that there was someone else on the ride close behind her.

  She had the feeling that a few seconds more and he would have overtaken her.

  As he drew up beside her, the
Duke greeted her,

  “Good morning, Miss Stanley. I guessed when my groom told me that there was a lady riding ahead of me that it could only be you.”

  “Why should you think that?” Nerissa asked him.

  The Duke smiled.

  “Because all my other lady guests are taking their beauty sleep.”

  Nerissa laughed because he made it sound so funny.

  At the same time she was vividly conscious of just how magnificent he looked on a large black stallion and how elegantly he was dressed.

  He had raised his hat as he spoke to her and now, as she saw him glance at her head, Nerissa felt embarrassed.

  “I – did not think – anybody would be up so early,” she said by way of explanation, “so I am afraid I look – very unconventional.”

  “You look very lovely,” the Duke contradicted her, “and as fresh as the spring!”

  The way he spoke did not make her feel embarrassed because there was a dry note in his voice almost as if he was mocking her as he uttered the words.

  “I hope you don’t – mind my riding one of your horses, Your Grace, without – asking your permission, but Harry told – me you had said that he could have a horse whenever he wanted one and I hoped that also applied to me.”

  “My stable is, of course, at your disposal,” the Duke replied. “But where is Harry?”

  “He was still asleep when I left and ‒ I did not want to wake him.”

  The Duke gave a short laugh.

  “That is the penalty one pays for late nights, beautiful women and unpredictable cards!”

  Nerissa gave a little gasp.

  Then she asked the Duke.

  “You are not – telling me that Harry was – gambling last night?”

  There was such a note of horror in her voice that the Duke responded,

  “You sound as if I have shocked you.”

  “It does not shock me,” Nerissa answered, “but it does ‒ frighten me.”

  She paused for a moment and then she said,

  “Please, Your Grace, don’t let Harry do anything so crazy as to play cards ‒ or bet in any way. He cannot afford it.”

  “Are you really so poor?”

  “We are as poor as Church mice,” Nerissa answered. “Harry has a little – a very little money at the moment, but it has to last him for years.”

  There was a frightened note in her voice as she thought that, if Harry did anything so mad as to throw away his money at card games, he would not be able to afford to buy a horse or the smart clothes that he was longing to possess.

  She was not aware that the Duke was watching the expression on her face until he said,

  “You say that Harry has very little money at the moment, but I presume, since everybody has different ideas of poverty, that with such delicious food and excellent wine as you served the other evening, you are hardly on the verge of starvation!”

  There was a sarcastic note in his voice that told Nerissa he thought that she was putting on an act and she replied defensively,

  “The night you dined at my father’s house was very exceptional, Your Grace.”

  “In what way?”

  Too late Nerissa realised that this was something that she should not have told him and she wondered how she should reply.

  Then, as if he had been working it out for himself, the Duke suggested,

  “Perhaps, and you must forgive me if I am wrong, the meal you cooked so brilliantly on that particular night was provided by your sister.”

  The colour rose in Nerissa’s cheeks and, as she looked away from him shyly, he knew that he had guessed right and then he asked her,

  “And were your servants really taken ill?”

  Nerissa was now feeling frightened.

  “Please,” she said, “you must not – ask me any – questions. And now that our horses are rested, could we not gallop them – again?”

  “Of course, if that is what you would wish,” the Duke agreed. “But you have made me very curious, mostly I do admit, because I had no idea that you and your brother existed until you materialised in a very strange way and, now I come to think about it, in a most unlikely place.”

  Nerissa was now really worried and murmured,

  “Please – Your Grace – will you forget that we have had this conversation – and promise me you will not mention it to – Delphine.”

  “You sound as if you are frightened of your sister,” the Duke replied accusingly.

  “My feelings cannot be of very much interest to Your Grace – one way or the other.” Nerissa countered evasively.

  Feeling that everything she said was only making things worse, she touched her horse with her whip and instantly he sprang forward.

  It took a second or two for the Duke to catch up with her and then they were riding side by side back along the gallop with Nerissa striving in every way she could to outride him.

  She knew it was impossible and yet she wanted to challenge him, she wanted to prove, although she did not know why, that she was not a nonentity, but someone he must reckon with at least when they were out riding.

  It was clear, however, that he was too good for her and, when finally he reined in his stallion, he was half a length ahead.

  But it had been such a thrilling race for Nerissa that her eyes were sparkling and her hair seemed to be part of the sunshine.

  “I have never ridden such a wonderful horse before,” she exclaimed at last when she could catch her breath. “Thank you. Thank you! It is something I shall remember and think about for ever.”

  “I hope you will have many far more exciting and perhaps more enjoyable memories than this,” the Duke remarked.

  “I don’t believe it!” Nerissa replied. “I only wish I could go on riding to the end of the world – and never stop!”

  The Duke chuckled.

  “I think that the pleasure of riding the most superlative horses would fade after a little while if one had nothing else in one’s life.”

  “You say that because you have so much,” Nerissa protested, “but for ordinary people, just one wonderful experience is enough to make them happy and, although you may not believe it, to fill their lives.”

  “Now I think, Miss Stanley, you must be talking of love. It is only love, or so I am told, that can make even the dullest and most boring life so wonderful that one needs nothing else.”

  “That is true,” Nerissa agreed. “Mama never minded that she could not have a horse, entertain lavishly and go to London to buy elegant gowns because she was so happy with Papa.”

  “And that is what you are looking for,” the Duke remarked as if he must tie her down to saying something positive, “a husband who will fill your life with love and nothing else will be of any consequence.”

  There was a little silence as they moved away from the gallop and under the trees while Nerissa thought over what he had said.

  Because he had spoken quietly and sounded sincere, she wanted to answer him in the same vein just as she argued and discussed subjects with her father when he paid her any attention.

  Now she replied quite unselfconsciously,

  “I suppose, at the back of my mind, I would like to be married and have a home of my own. But it is the person who one shares it with that matters and, as you say, nothing else is really of any importance.”

  She was thinking as she spoke of how Delphine had married Lord Bramwell simply because he was so rich and had admitted the other day that she had been bored with him as a man.

  “Have you any particular person in mind who you might like to share this El Dorado with?”

  Now the Duke sounded somewhat cynical and sarcastic again and Nerissa laughed.

  “I was really thinking, since you have brought up the subject, Your Grace, that I would like to spend my life with the gentleman I am now riding. I am sure he would be far more amenable and far more entertaining to be with than any ordinary nag would.”

  “We are not talking about just an ordin
ary man, Miss Stanley,” the Duke answered, “but somebody special you are in love with and who, of course, is madly in love with you.”

  Nerissa felt that he was mocking her again and she said,

  “You are making me feel very – ignorant and rather – foolish to – talk of such things. Tell me instead about your horses and how many you possess.”

  “Now you are running away from what I was finding an intriguing discussion,” the Duke objected.

  “But then somewhat one-sided,” Nerissa countered without thinking, “since you are so experienced on the subject while I have no knowledge of it at all.”

  “You have never been in love?”

  “We live very quietly at Queen’s Rest. The only men who come to see Papa are very old and very learned and they tend to concentrate on bricks and mortar rather than on women.”

  The Duke laughed.

  Then he said,

  “That is a very sad story, Miss Stanley, but at least you can make up for it by enjoying the company of a great number of men whom you will meet today.”

  “We have come here to look at your horses, Your Grace,” Nerissa said quickly and again the Duke laughed.

  They rode back through the beautiful woods, which Nerissa thought must be peopled by the gnomes, fairies and dragons that had filled her mind as a child.

  They reached the centre of the wood where there was a pool with yellow irises growing around it and overshadowed by weeping-willow trees.

  “I was always sure when I was a small boy that this place was enchanted,” the Duke said unexpectedly and Nerissa’s eyes widened in surprise before she observed,

  “I felt that your wood was enchanted, but then I always feel when I am among trees that they are part of a world we can reach only ‒ by stepping out of our own.”

  “Is that what you do often?”

  “Whenever I can,” Nerissa said simply, “but I don’t have ‒ a great deal of time.”

  The Duke looked puzzled as she explained,

  “Papa is so lonely since Mama died and, although he is immersed in his books, he likes to talk to me about them and to read me what he has written and sometimes I am able to help him. There are also, unfortunately, a great number of household chores.”