To Heaven With Love Read online

  “Don’t talk like that, my love. We have everything we need. Prosperity is ours.”

  “But Neville, don’t forget that next spring Dorianna will be coming out. And we must make sure that her first Season and her presentation at Court are perfect – ”

  She looked anxiously at her husband.

  “Absolutely, my dear,” he responded, smiling. “No expense will be spared.”

  Mama smiled as well, but her blue eyes were still troubled.

  “I just can’t help but feel we should go a little more slowly. It’s always wise to be careful and not overspend when one is running a big estate like this.”

  A shadow passed over Mr. Shawcroft’s face and he looked angry all of a sudden.

  “Have I ever failed to provide for you?” he fumed. “I cannot believe you have no confidence in me!”

  Mama hastened to reassure him that she had every confidence in his ability to provide for her and Dorianna.

  “Good,” said Mr. Shawcroft with a frown. “That’s the way forward. Fortune shines on me, as it always has. You will bring bad luck with your doubts and hesitations.”

  And he dropped his wife’s hand and left the room.

  Mama made no more suggestions about caution and economy for fear of upsetting him and it all seemed to be going smoothly and efficiently at the Hall.

  The staff settled into their jobs and the renovations continued, making the whole place seem fresh and clean.

  A short while later, Mr. Shawcroft announced over dinner that he would be going away for some time to attend the Derby meeting at Epsom.

  Dorianna remembered his comment on the wedding day.

  “Shall we be coming with you?” she asked eagerly. “I should so like to see the most famous horserace in the world!”

  Mr. Shawcroft laughed.

  “Another time, perhaps,” he replied and Dorianna noticed that his eyes were shining brightly. He seemed so preoccupied and excited that he could hardly look at her.

  “It will be so very busy and hot at Epsom,” Mama added. “We should be a great deal more comfortable and happy staying quietly at home.”

  Dorianna could not help but think that she would rather be cheering on the swiftest and the best horses in the land as they strove to be first past the winning post, but she did not like to contradict her Mama.

  “That’s right, my love,” Mr. Shawcroft said, patting his wife’s arm. “Stay quietly at home and see what lovely gifts I shall bring back for you both.”

  He was away from the Hall for over a week.

  When he did return, he looked tired and ill and he seemed to have forgotten the presents he had promised.

  He seemed altogether depressed and withdrawn and spent a great deal of his time looking out of the window at the flowerbeds, a deep frown creasing his forehead.

  From time to time, he could be heard muttering to himself about the expense.

  “Why do we employ ten men to clear the garden, when one could do the job just as well?” Dorianna heard him say and then he cursed under his breath and added,

  “Let it be for now. All will still be well, if my plan works.”

  When Mama asked him what was wrong, he would brush her questions away with a shrug of his shoulders.

  “I have a great deal on my mind, my love, and I do not need you bothering me with your concerns. I am now going to London for a while.”

  “And when will you be back with us?”

  “When I have done what I have to do.”

  He turned his back on her and left the room.

  The next morning he left for London.

  After dinner that day, Dorianna went to her Mama’s bedroom to say goodnight, as she always did when she was on her own.

  She found Mama at her dressing table staring at her reflection in the mirror.

  “Mama, you are still up! I thought you would be in bed by now. What is the matter?”

  “My darling, something really quite worrying has occurred and I simply cannot sleep for thinking about it.”

  Dorianna’s heart contracted sharply as she looked at he mother’s pale and anxious face.

  “Whatever has happened?”

  “Every night before I go to sleep, I like to look at my diamonds,” replied Mama. “Sometimes I put the tiara on my head and just hold the necklace around my neck – and then I look at myself in the mirror.

  “I have never in all my life possessed anything so valuable and gorgeous as all those jewels and after I have touched and stroked them, I feel so very happy that I have no trouble falling into a deep and peaceful sleep.”

  “I know, Mama, I have often seen you do that.”

  “My darling. Tonight I opened the drawer of my dressing table to take the jewels out and they are gone!”

  “What?”

  Dorianna’s voice stuck in her throat with shock.

  “Maybe they are somewhere else in another drawer? Could you have put them away somewhere different and you have forgotten?”

  “No, I have looked everywhere. They are gone.”

  Dorianna’s heart was racing.

  Had the jewels been stolen?

  She clasped her Mama’s hands.

  “Let me speak to McFadyean, we must send for the Police, Mama!”

  “No, my darling.” Her voice sounded low and sad. “I don’t think we need do that.”

  She looked into Dorianna’s eyes.

  “Oh, Mama,” mumbled Dorianna. “Do you think Mr. Shawcroft has taken them to London?”

  “We must wait and see. We must not jump to conclusions, but I do not think we should call the Police. We must speak to Mr. Shawcroft first.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Dorianna had stood in Mama’s bedroom and wept, urging her again and again to question the servants and to call the Police.

  “But Mama! Your jewels must have been stolen! We need to get them back!”

  “Please, Dorianna, you must try and understand that I do not want you to interfere. Neville will know exactly what we should do, I am sure.”

  Dorianna could hardly remember the last time that her mild-mannered Mama had spoken to her so sternly, and she recognised that she must not go on attempting to persuade her to find out what had happened to the diamonds.

  She could only wait and see just what might happen when her Step-papa returned from London.

  Mr. Shawcroft seemed like a changed man when he came back to Ashburton Hall a week later.

  His eyes were dull and his thin face drooped.

  He did not speak to Dorianna at all and she waited anxiously for her Mama to tell her what Mr. Shawcroft had said, but this did not happen for a long time.

  As the days passed by, Mama stayed mostly in her bedroom, speaking to no one.

  She looked pale and sad and when she came down to dinner she did not wear her diamond tiara or necklace.

  They were never seen at Ashburton Hall again.

  The time of prosperity seemed to have come to an abrupt end. There were no more bottles of champagne at dinner or expensive gifts for Mama and Dorianna.

  This did not upset her that much, but she was very sad when she heard that gardeners, builders and decorators who had been labouring so hard were being sent away by Mr. Shawcroft without being paid.

  The atmosphere at home was troubled and gloomy and Dorianna slipped away to spend as much time as possible in her beloved woodland garden. There she could relax, looking at the trees and the flowers and dipping her feet in the cool rushing stream.

  One day, two weeks after Mr. Shawcroft’s return, Dorianna returned to the Hall after a long afternoon in the peace of the woodland glades and was about to slip in by the back door, when she heard some voices coming from the boot room.

  It was McFadyean, the butler, who was talking to one of the footmen.

  Dorianna pushed the back door open a little, so that she could see them.

  The footman was cleaning a pair of black boots and McFadyean was leaning against the wall.

&n
bsp; She was about to creep away and find another way into the Hall, as she did not like McFadyean, who always looked as if he thought himself superior to the tasks it was his duty to perform.

  But then she overheard what he was saying and his words stopped her in her tracks.

  “That old Shawcroft’s luck has run out at last!” he was expounding.

  Dorianna could smell the cigarette he was smoking, something that no servant had ever done on the premises of Ashburton Hall before.

  “How much did he lose?” the footman asked.

  “Lord only knows,” replied McFadyean with a dry laugh. “He bet like a fool on the Derby, put everything on an outsider and lost the lot!”

  “Why doesn’t he win it all back? He’s always done so in the past, so they say.”

  McFadyean laughed again.

  “Not this time. He’s cleaned out. Nothing is left to bet. Nothing in the bank, and the estate’s already mortgaged to the hilt.”

  Dorianna felt fear rising up inside her like a wave.

  This could not be true.

  How could it have happened that Mr. Shawcroft’s money was all gone?

  “Whatever will become of us?” the footman asked. “Will we get paid? I’ve three sisters and a brother at home depending on me and I can’t afford to work for nothing.”

  “Shhh!” hissed McFadyean. “Someone’s listening to us – ”

  He quickly pulled the door open, so that Dorianna came face to face with him and the footman.

  “How dare you talk like this!” she cried, her face hot with anger. “You have no right to discuss the business of your employers in this way.”

  McFadyean took a long puff on his cigarette before throwing it out of the back door onto the gravel.

  “Yes, my Lady.”

  He looked insolently at Dorianna.

  “And you know that it is not permitted for any of the staff to smoke inside Ashburton Hall.”

  McFadyean smiled.

  “Did you not know that he who pays the piper calls the tune?” he said, his voice slipping into his own native Scottish accent for a moment.

  Dorianna felt suddenly afraid.

  What did he mean? Was he implying that he was only answerable to Mr. Shawcroft?

  No servant had ever spoken so rudely to her before.

  She left the room and ran to the parlour, where her Mama would normally be sitting at this time of the day.

  Mama was in her favourite armchair, her little gold eyeglasses perched on her nose and a piece of fine linen in her lap, which she was embroidering with daisies.

  Dorianna was very relieved to find her mother alone.

  She felt tears welling up in her eyes and it was a few moments before her voice was steady enough to speak.

  “Mama, we have not spoken properly to each other since Mr. Shawcroft came home. Can’t you tell me what is happening? The servants are all gossiping and saying that his money is lost – if that is true, can’t you tell me?”

  “Dorianna, my darling daughter!”

  Mama put down her sewing and looked over the top of her glasses.

  “You must forgive me, but I have not wanted to talk about what has been going on. It’s true that Neville has lost a great deal of money racing and that we will have to tighten our belts.

  “But he has been trying to win back some of his losses and he assures me that he will be able to recover his fortune. I have been hoping that this will be the case, but now I am not so sure.”

  “And what about your diamonds, Mama? What has become of them?”

  “Unfortunately, my darling one, they had to be sold. Mr. Shawcroft’s debts were so large that it had to be done.”

  “Oh, Mama!” Dorianna cried out in horror. “How awful!”

  “They are only jewels and, beautiful as they were, the loss of them does not upset me as much as it might. With the money raised we may still be able to take you to London, Dorianna, and see that you are presented at Court. I just want to give you some kind of Season – not as grand a one as I would have liked, but something.”

  “But that doesn’t matter, Mama – I would much rather you still had your diamonds!”

  The parlour door then swung open sharply and Mr. Shawcroft came in.

  He seemed surprised to see Dorianna.

  “What’s all this, then?” he called out as he slumped down on the sofa.

  “I was just telling Dorianna all about our plans for London,” his wife answered, laying aside her embroidery.

  “And I was saying that I would far rather my Mama still had her diamonds!” exclaimed Dorianna.

  Mr. Shawcroft looked at her, his foxy face creased in a thoughtful frown.

  “Would you now? Well – they just had to go. And there’s an end of it.”

  And then he smiled to himself.

  “But we will take you to London, young lady,” he continued, “for I have a feeling that we have something to offer the drawing rooms of the City that is far more valuable than diamonds.”

  “What do you mean?” Dorianna asked him, feeling confused.

  Mr. Shawcroft laughed and tapped his pointed nose with the side of his finger.

  “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Leave everything to your Step-papa. Off you go now – make sure you get plenty of beauty sleep this week. It’ll be non-stop socialising once we get to London!”

  “There you are, my darling one!” sighed Mama and stood to kiss her. “You see – you will have a Season after all and never mind your Step-papa’s teasing!”

  Dorianna hugged her and left them in the parlour.

  Something about Mr. Shawcroft’s expression when he looked at her made her feel very uneasy.

  Although there was now very little money left, he had not begrudged spending a large sum on a beautiful white dress for Dorianna.

  She tried it on and looked at her elegant silhouette in her pier mirror, scarcely recognising the tall, graceful creature that stared back at her.

  Dorianna had always known that one day she would be presented at Court, before attending Society functions in London in the hope that she would meet eligible and rich young men who were looking for a wife.

  But now that the time had come, she simply did not feel the joy or excitement expected of a young woman on the cusp of her Season.

  Instead, she wished that she could stay quietly at Ashburton Hall and not have to travel to London with her Step-papa, who had begun looking at her in a manner that made her feel most uncomfortable.

  The day of the Court Presentation arrived and with her tall slender figure and bright golden hair, Dorianna was openly acknowledged to be one of the most beautiful girls at Buckingham Palace.

  But that day passed in a blur for her.

  Dorianna was not used to being amongst so many people. She felt shy and alone standing in a long line with the other debutantes waiting to be presented to the Queen.

  She longed to be back at home and wandering free in her beloved woodland glades.

  Even the Regal figure of Queen Victoria, dressed in her imposing robes and jewels, made little impression on Dorianna as she made her curtsy.

  “My darling, you looked wonderful,” sighed Mama afterwards, when Dorianna told her how uncomfortable she had felt.

  “Your hair looked as bright as an angel’s and you made such a graceful curtsy to the Queen, you outshone all the other girls!”

  “Indeed, yes,” added her Step-papa. “A proper little diamond! And no doubt there are others who will agree with your Mama, once we get you in front of Society!”

  *

  Dorianna looked out of the dining room windows at the trees stirring in the breeze and shuddered as she recalled the look on her Step-papa’s face as he said those words.

  There was a loud clink of china.

  Marjorie was back and making her way along the table, clearing the plates.

  “Will you like fruit, my Lady?” she asked, stopping by Mama. “There are still some apples in the storer
oom that I can bring for you!”

  “No thank you, Marjorie. I think I will retire now.”

  At least once Dorianna married Lord Buxton, there would be succulent desserts at Ashburton Hall again – the pastries, syllabubs and fine rich custards that were Mama’s favourite treats.

  And then she nearly choked as she remembered that it was tomorrow morning that she would be setting out on the journey to Rouston Hall – the journey that would end with her wedding.

  ‘I just can’t do it!’ she cried out silently to herself, as the disagreeable image of the foolish young goose, Lord Buxton, reared up in her mind again.

  ‘Just how can I marry someone I don’t even like? I would rather chew wrinkled apples every day for my only food than spend the rest of my life with him, hearing his honking laugh and looking at his silly red face!’

  Mama rose from the table to make her way slowly to the door.

  “Goodnight, my Dorianna. Sleep well as we have a long journey tomorrow.”

  “Goodnight, my dear Mama!”

  Then Dorianna sat down at the table again, trying desperately to control her racing thoughts.

  How had it come about?

  Why had she ever thought it was a good idea to marry Lord Buxton?

  ‘Remember, Dorianna!’ she told herself. ‘Try and remember how your own Mama married Mr. Shawcroft for his money to try and save Ashburton Hall.

  ‘Now you are doing just the same. Lord Buxton is a rich man with great estates and no debts. The Hall will be saved and Mama will be secure for the rest of her life.’

  She ignored the little voice inside her that cried,

  ‘But what about me? How will I live? How can I do this terrible thing to myself?’

  And gradually she felt calmer, so that she was able to leave the table and make her way up to her bedroom.

  There were still some small items to be packed and she moved quietly around the room folding and packing, so that all would be ready for her early start the next morning.

  And all the time, as vivid in her mind as the day it happened, the moment of her second encounter with Lord Buxton at a soirée in Mayfair replayed itself.

  *

  On the day after her Court presentation, Dorianna had felt tired and listless. Her head still ached and she felt uneasy, full of a strange foreboding she could not explain.