The Runaway Heart Read online

  Felix was standing by the fireplace with Lady Holt. He was holding both her hands in his and she was laughing at something he had said to her, throwing back her head with an exaggerated gesture, as if she was an untrammelled young girl instead of a middle-aged woman.

  Karina had crossed half the room before they realised that she was near them, then Felix said in his somewhat affected manner,

  “Ah, here is my little cousin! I was beginning to be afraid that she had jumped out of the window and run away again.”

  “I would not do that without telling you,” Karina answered. “Not when you have been so kind as to help me to escape in the first place.”

  “I am sure that Felix makes an excellent nursemaid,” Lady Holt said with a little edge on her voice. “And it would be very stupid not to keep him pushing the pram until you have learned to walk on your own.”

  “Julie, you are being beastly to me,” Felix said almost petulantly.

  She capitulated immediately.

  “I am sorry, Felix. Was I being disagreeable then? I’ll be sweet and nice, even though to look at this dewy-eyed child makes me feel depressed.”

  “You are so ridiculously modest, Julie,” he replied in a low voice just as Garland Holt came into the room.

  “Dinner is ready,” he said loudly from the doorway. “Shall we go in?”

  His mother looked across to him disapprovingly.

  “Really, Garland, cannot you wait for Travers to announce it properly? You know how I hate these slipshod ways. It’s so modern and so unnecessary in this house.”

  “I am sorry, Mother,” her son replied. “Come on Travers, do your piece. Her ladyship is waiting to hear it.”

  Quite unabashed by what was going on around him, the butler, who was standing in the doorway, cleared his throat.

  “Dinner is served, my Lady,” he said in quiet impersonal tones.

  Lady Holt moved forward.

  “Shall I lead the way?” she said to Karina.

  Not waiting for an answer, she moved down the room, her short heavily embroidered dress rustling as she moved, the diamonds round her neck glittering and her long eyelashes fluttering as she flashed a smile at Felix.

  They sat down in silence in the dining room, which seemed to Karina too big and too pompous. The table with its silver ornaments, candelabra, bowls of orchids and dishes of fruit seemed almost overpowering for such a small party.

  It appeared that the good humour that Garland had shown when he was with his grandmother had completely disappeared as soon as he was with his mother.

  He was morose, answering questions in monosyllables and concentrating apparently upon eating.

  Lady Holt talked almost exclusively to Felix, who held forth on every possible subject, appearing to Karina to be both charming and intelligent without being in the least dictatorial.

  It was soon obvious to her, however, that Garland Holt thought differently. There was no mistaking the brooding look of dislike when he glanced at Felix or the note of rudeness in his voice when he occasionally contradicted something he said.

  ‘How can Cousin Felix bear to come here?’ Karina asked herself. ‘He must see that he is unwanted. He cannot be so thick-skinned as not to be aware that Garland Holt dislikes him.’

  She had always been very sensitive to atmosphere and she always seemed to have an almost uncanny sense where other people were concerned, so that she would know what they were feeling however much they pretended or put on an act with the intention to deceive.

  Now she felt shy and uncomfortable while she listened to Lady Holt’s high gushing voice and Felix’s low-toned responses.

  “Tomorrow we have a large party arriving,” Julie Holt said. “Bernstein is coming, you remember, the New York art dealer I was telling you about.”

  “My dear, you will not want us if you have a party,” Felix said. “Karina and I will be on our way.”

  “But of course not!” Lady Holt exclaimed. “You know perfectly well, Felix, that I have planned this party especially for you. You wanted to meet Bernstein and he is coming. He is bringing his wife, which is rather a bore. I am told she is an incredibly dreary woman. But I have invited a lot of our friends, so perhaps she will be lost in the crowd and we will not have to bother with her.”

  “If you really want me – ” Felix began and Karina realised all too clearly that he had never intended to leave.

  ‘I must get him alone,’ she told herself. ‘I must tell him that I must go away even if he wants to stay.’

  It was so embarrassing to be an unwanted guest.

  But even as she thought this, Lady Holt gave a little scream.

  “I have thought of something splendid,” she said. “Karina will pair so well with Lord Monkham. You remember I was trying to find a girl for him, but really I had given it up as a bad job. They are all so tiresome or else preoccupied with other people. This makes the whole party complete. It was so clever of you, Felix, to bring her.”

  Karina opened her mouth to expostulate that she could not stay any longer and then caught Felix’s eye. He was telling her to do nothing of the sort, to keep quiet, to leave things as they were and, because she was so used to obeying other people, she obeyed him.

  The moment when she could have protested passed.

  Julie Holt was talking of other things as they were moving from the dining room, the men coming with them because Garland Holt had said in his most uncompromising voice that he did not drink port and that if Felix wanted any he could sit over it by himself.

  “I hate the men being left behind,” Lady Holt said. “It’s an outdated Victorian custom that should be swept away. Nothing is more dreary than being left to talk to the women about the difficulties of finding good servants while you hear roars of laughter coming from the dining room.”

  They went into the drawing room and almost immediately Garland said goodnight.

  “I have work to do, Mother,” he said.

  “Of course, dear boy. But you work much too hard, you know that.”

  She kissed him on the cheek, and Karina noticed that he made no response to kiss her back. It was very different from the way he had bent towards his grandmother.

  The moment he had left the room, she also rose to her feet.

  “Would you mind if I went to bed?” she asked. “It has been rather a tiring day.”

  “Of course, you poor child,” Lady Holt said. “I only hope that you will have a good night. Ring when you want your breakfast.”

  “It is very k-kind of you to h-have me,” Karina stammered. “I hope it’s not a terrible nuisance my turning up out of the blue.”

  “Of course it isn’t,” Lady Holt said with a note of insincerity.

  “I shall leave – ” Karina began only to be interrupted by Felix.

  “Julie Holt is the kindest woman in the world,” he said. “If you knew her as well as I do, Karina, you would know that everyone brings their lame dogs, ailing cats and runaway little cousins to find a haven by Julie’s fireside.”

  “But I only wanted to say – ” Karina insisted.

  He touched her cheek with his hand, but it was almost a slap.

  “Leave everything to your Cousin Felix,” he said. “Don’t worry your head about anything. You are free, no one knows where you are, and Cyril will be sobbing into his pillow. Run along, child, and don’t forget to sleep well.”

  Karina was dismissed. She knew it and she felt she could not fight to say the things she felt ought to be said.

  She walked slowly up the stairs. The fire was blazing brightly in her bedroom and she sat down in front of it.

  There was so much she wanted to think about and so much she wanted to consider.

  Felix, Lady Holt and Garland!

  They all seemed like figures on a stage, strange people encroaching on her life, altering and changing it. She did not know whether it was for better or for worse.

  She only knew that in some inexplicable way she was afraid of them all, espe
cially of Garland.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The next day, what seemed to Karina an enormous number of people arrived for the weekend.

  Most of them were businessmen with whom Garland was associated, but there were also young women, beautiful, sophisticated and exquisitely dressed, who made Karina feel gauche and shabby.

  It appeared to her that Felix deliberately fostered the impression that she was an outsider, lonely and a little aloof from the others and therefore someone to pity.

  She could not explain even to herself how this atmosphere was created around her and yet she was sure it was so and once again she felt that wild impulse to run away.

  After luncheon, because she felt shy, she walked away from the crowd in the drawing room trying to make up their minds how they would spend the afternoon.

  Moving down the corridors she found herself, quite by chance, in a small room which seemed, even at first glance, quite different from the rest.

  It was more austere and unluxurious for one thing. At the same time there was something cosy about it, low comfortable armchairs, photographs scattered about the tables and a bookcase filled with volumes that were not there just for ornament but which had become shabby with use.

  There was a fire burning in the grate although the room was empty and this did not surprise Karina, for she had already discovered that among the many luxuries in Garland Holt’s house was a coal fire in every room whether it was being used or not.

  She had been awakened by the housemaid drawing back the curtains over her windows and laying the fire and relighting it before she carried in a delicious breakfast on a tray.

  Karina now sat down in front of the fire in the small sitting room and wondered who had used the room. She had not come to any conclusion when the door opened and Garland Holt came in.

  She looked up a little guiltily, wondering whether he had noticed her rudeness in slipping away from the party, at the same time questioning whether this was some private sanctuary of his own.

  “I thought I saw you come in here,” he began.

  “I am sorry,” Karina replied. “Is it private?”

  “No,” he answered, “not at all. It is just a room that my guests seldom wish to visit. But for me it holds very poignant memories.”

  She must have looked surprised as he went on,

  “You see, originally it was my schoolroom. I did my first lessons here and, when she grew old, my Governess came back and stayed here until she died two years ago. This was her special room and I used to come and talk to her in the evenings. She was a rather wonderful person. Only after she died did we realise that she had been in agony for several years from an incurable cancer.”

  “How awful!” Karina exclaimed.

  “Not really,” he replied. “I think that Jetty was one of the happiest people I have ever known. She loved life, she loved people and she adored books. It did not matter to her that she had no money. She could always find the three things that interested her most.”

  “You sound as if you think money is what matters to most other people,” Karina said a little hastily.

  “Well, doesn’t it?” he asked with a note of sarcasm in his voice. “Surely you are not going to pretend that you don’t want money?”

  “I want enough to live on, of course,” Karina said. “Who doesn’t?”

  “It depends upon what standard you call ‘living’,” he said.

  She felt somehow that he was deliberately being argumentative.

  With a pathetic little effort at dignity she said,

  “I am sorry if I have intruded in this room. I expect you want to be alone.”

  She rose to her feet, conscious all the time that he was watching her.

  “You are rather overplaying your hand, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she said wonderingly.

  “The little lost girl act,” he sneered. “Try mixing with the others. You will find it much more amusing.”

  For a moment Karina stood quite still. She felt as if he had slapped her.

  Then with a flash of anger that she could not control she said,

  “I think you are the one who should go back to your guests, Mr. Holt. I did not ask for your company.”

  For a moment he looked surprised and then he said,

  “Touché! And, incidentally, I apologise. It was gratuitously rude. As your host, I have no right to be that, have I?”

  She did not answer, but merely turned towards the door.

  And then, as she reached it, suddenly he was beside her, walking with her down the passage and saying in quite a different tone,

  “You are angry with me. Don’t be. I am impossible, everyone tells me that, including my grandmother. What did you think of her, by the way? I asked you that before, but I don’t think you gave me an answer.”

  Karina did not wish to speak to him, but she felt that it would seem childish, so she replied stiffly in what she hoped was a cold voice,

  “I thought she was very interesting.”

  “That is rather an understatement, isn’t it?” Garland Holt asked. “She is unique, original and a personality in a world that lacks character. My grandmother has lived a fantastic life. She has had three husbands, by the way, and buried them all.

  “She made my grandfather successful against incredible overwhelming odds. She married twice after he died, but I think she wore out her husbands; she was so full of vitality, energy and drive that they just could not stand up to her.”

  There was an enthusiasm in Garland Holt’s voice that had not been there before and then, as they reached the hall where several guests were coming out of the drawing room, he said in his more familiar, sarcastic, sneering tones,

  “It’s a pity they don’t make women like that these days. If I could find a girl like my grandmother, then I should get married.”

  “And if you did find one, I should think that it would be very unlikely that she would marry you!”

  Karina was astounded to hear her own voice say the words and yet they came out of her lips without her conscious volition. And when she had said them, she was glad that she had done so.

  She turned away from him and walked up the stairs.

  ‘He is insufferable!’ she told herself. ‘Conceited and insufferable. How dare he think that I am trying to attract his attention?’

  She had almost reached the top of the staircase, hurrying towards her own room, when she heard her name called from behind her.

  “Karina, where are you going?”

  It was Cousin Felix’s voice and she turned and saw him standing in the hall below.

  “I am going to my room,” Karina answered.

  “Why? What for? It’s raining far too hard for you to go out.”

  “I was not thinking of going out,” Karina replied.

  “Well, come down here. Don’t leave us,” Felix urged her.

  Although it was a request, Karina sensed there was almost a command in his voice.

  Then, as she hesitated, Garland Holt, who was standing where she had left him, crossed to Felix’s side.

  “Persuade your cousin to join us,” he said. “I expect she would like to see my jade.”

  Felix turned to Garland Holt with an eagerness that had no pretence about it.

  “I should like to see them too. Would that be possible? Your mother has told me so much about them, but I have never actually seen them.”

  “I keep them locked up,” Garland Holt said stiffly.

  “I have read about them, seen photographs of them and talked about them, but never, all the times I have been here, have I actually seen them.”

  “Well, now is the moment,” Garland Holt replied briefly.

  Felix looked up to where Karina was still hanging over the banisters.

  “Come along,” he said.

  Reluctantly she retraced her steps. She wanted to tell Garland Holt that she did not wish to see his jade or anything else.

  ‘He w
ill only think I am envious of them,’ she thought. ‘He sneers at people who want money, but he is prepared to use his own to buy everything he wants.’

  She had been too bemused last night to notice very much about the house, but now she was realising that almost everything in the way of furniture, pictures and objets d’art was worthy of a museum.

  ‘It’s all too rich,’ she thought.

  She had a longing for a place of her own, which would be small and simple, without the complications of a sneering young man who had too much money and thought that everyone was after it.

  By the time she reached the hall, Garland Holt had disappeared and members of the house party, who had been standing about in groups, had gone into the billiard room to play snooker.

  “How did you persuade him?” Felix asked in a low voice.

  “Persuade him to do what?” Karina enquired.

  “To show you his jade, of course.”

  “I did not persuade him,” she answered. “I had never heard of it until this moment. What is it, anyway?”

  “Good Lord! What ignorance!” Felix exclaimed. “Have you never heard of the Holt Collection?”

  Karina shook her head and Felix began to talk rapidly,

  “It was started by his father. He was a man of great artistic ability but no business sense. Garland, in some extraordinary way, seems to combine both. He is a wizard when it comes to finance. At the same time he knows a great deal about pictures and, of course, this fabulous collection, which he has added to year by year.”

  “Then why haven’t you seen it before? I don’t understand,” Karina said.

  “It’s too valuable to have lying about,” Felix answered. “It has been in the Bank for years, but Garland has had a special room made for it. It was only moved here a few months ago.”

  Karina did not look particularly interested. She was angry with Garland Holt and she thought it a pity that he should think that, by showing her something that he himself prized, he could make up for being rude and disagreeable.

  Felix glanced over his shoulder to make sure they were not overheard and then he said,

  “You are doing splendidly. I saw him follow you down the passage.”