An Adventure of Love Read online

  She also said that there was no one for her to play games with or to go for long walks in the countryside as she would like to do.

  They were just little things and yet he seemed to be interested in everything that she had to say.

  There were at times long silences between them and yet she was very conscious of the fact that he was standing beside her.

  At length they stopped in a window overlooking the garden and there seemed to be no reason to go on pretending that they were admiring the view.

  “I ought to – leave you,” Zorina sighed. “I am – sure I am – late!”

  “I have the terrifying feeling,” Rudolf replied, “that the sands are running out. I will lose you and it will be impossible for me to find you again.”

  “I-I am always – here.”

  He hesitated and she thought that he was going to say that he would not be.

  She knew without his telling her so that he would be going back to his own country.

  She wanted to cry out at the idea, to beg him to stay a little longer, to meet her on another morning and yet another.

  Then, because it was difficult to say any of these things, all she could murmur was,

  “There is – so much more of The Palace you have not – yet seen and there is the garden – and the maze.”

  She knew that it would be difficult to take him into the garden without there being eyes at the windows and someone would be sure to report to her mother that she was accompanied by a handsome young man.

  Yet, she had a sudden yearning to hold on to him and to keep him from going away from her.

  Then, as she looked up into his eyes, they were both very still.

  “I feel that I have known you since the beginning of Eternity,” he said in a low voice, “and that everything we do and everything we say we have done before.”

  “I-I feel the – same,” Zorina whispered.

  He reached out to take her hand.

  “We have to talk about this. Will you meet me again this afternoon?”

  “It would be impossible,” Zorina answered quickly. “I am not supposed to come into The Palace when the public are here.”

  “Then suppose I call at your apartment?”

  “No, no! That would be a – mistake! We would have to – explain that we have not been – properly introduced.”

  “Except by the ghost of Cardinal Wolsey!”

  Zorina laughed.

  Then, because she wanted so much to stay and yet she knew that she must go, she took her hand from his.

  “I will – see you tomorrow.”

  The words were little more than a whisper, but he heard them.

  “I will be here. You know I will be here. In these few minutes that we are together it is so frustrating and so infuriating.”

  He paused before he said and his voice seemed to deepen,

  “I do so want to talk to you for a long time. I want to tell you about myself and learn everything about you.”

  Zorina made a little murmur.

  Then he said,

  “I have an idea, I will call on you, informally first, and it seems a ridiculous question when we already know each other so well, but you must tell me your full name.”

  Zorina was frightened.

  If he knew who she was and the people he was staying with knew that they had met in this strange manner, she was certain that they would gossip about it to the other inhabitants at The Palace.

  Then undoubtedly the whole story would be related in detail to her mother.

  It flashed through her mind that not only would her mother be angry but everybody else would think it extremely ‘fast’ of her to talk so openly to a strange man.

  Worse still she had met him by appointment and allowed him to call her by her Christian name.

  Because she was now feeling apprehensive, she turned away from him, saying,

  “I must go – I must go – but I will be here tomorrow and then – perhaps I can explain – ”

  Her voice trailed away as she was already halfway towards the door.

  And before he had really realised that she was leaving or could even catch up with her, she was gone.

  He knew that she would be running swiftly down the long corridors that led to her Grace and Favour apartment.

  He turned back to the window, but now he did not see the sunlit garden.

  There was a frown between his eyes as he stared into his own future.

  *

  Zorina was breathless by the time she reached the Prince’s apartment.

  Then she slowed her pace a little and put her hands up to her hair to tidy it.

  She became aware that the door was open and there was somebody just inside it and with an effort she forced herself to walk a little more circumspectly.

  Then, to her astonishment, she saw Nanny standing there in the small hall talking to the Prince’s personal servant, who was almost as old as he was.

  When she saw Zorina come through the door, Nanny made a sound that was half an exclamation and half a sound of rebuke.

  “Where have you been, Your Royal Highness?” she asked sharply. “I have been waitin’ here long enough for you to walk round the whole Palace instead of comin’ straight to this apartment, as you should have done!”

  “I am sorry, Nanny,” Zorina answered and then asked, “but – why are you here?”

  “You are to come back with me at once!” Nanny replied. “And waste no more time.”

  “But – why?”

  “I’ll tell you about it on the way.”

  Her manner, when she spoke, made Zorina aware that she did not wish to speak in front of the Prince’s servant.

  Zorina therefore turned to him,

  “Good morning, Hans! Will you tell His Highness how sad I am that I will not be able to have my conversation with him this morning?”

  “I tell him, Your Highness, and I know he’ll be right disappointed.”

  “Come along! Come along!” Zorina heard Nanny muttering.

  She was already outside in the corridor and Zorina paused only to say,

  “Tell His Highness I will come to see him tomorrow if it is possible.”

  The servant bowed and without waiting for his reply Zorina hurried after Nanny, who was already moving swiftly down the corridor.

  “What is it? What has – happened?” Zorina asked Nanny as she reached her.

  “A messenger arrived from Windsor Castle just after you’d left.”

  “From Windsor Castle?” Zorina exclaimed.

  “Yes,” Nanny replied, “and Her Royal Highness is extremely annoyed that you’d left so early without tellin’ her where you were goin’.”

  “I did – not wish to – disturb Mama,” Zorina said lamely.

  Nanny did not speak and Zorina saw that she was finding the pace that they were moving at did not enable her to converse at the same time.

  So Zorina could only wonder what had happened and what was the message that had arrived from Windsor Castle.

  She thought that whatever it was, it would make her mother agitated.

  If they was to visit the Queen, there would be gowns to be pressed and bonnets to be refurbished.

  ‘We will look very dowdy,’ she thought.

  All the available money they had would not be enough to buy anything new after they had spent so much on the evening gown that her mother had hoped she might be presented in.

  It took Zorina and Nanny quite a little time to reach their apartment and it necessitated going down one staircase and up another, so Nanny was quite breathless when they arrived.

  The door was open and they walked straight in.

  Zorina went straight to the sitting room, where she was sure that her mother would be waiting for her and she was not mistaken.

  Princess Louise was sitting in the window sewing fresh ribbons onto a bonnet.

  She looked up as Zorina entered and exclaimed,

  “Oh, there you are, Zorina. How could you have go
ne away just when I wanted you?”

  “What has – happened, Mama?”

  “Sit down, dearest, I have so much to tell you.”

  Zorina did as she was told, sitting on a chair next to her mother and looking at her with questioning eyes.

  “One of Her Majesty’s aides-de-camp arrived here this morning while I was having my breakfast,” Princess Louise began. “He is a charming man and he told me that when he was young he had met your father.”

  From the way her mother spoke Zorina knew that this had been a memorable moment for the aide-de-camp.

  Princess Louise had always been very conscious that the few people they did know in England were not in the least impressed by Prince Paul.

  In fact the majority had no idea that he had ever existed. They had heard of his father, the King, but because Paul was a younger son, he was of no consequence nor for that matter were what remained of his family.

  There was a little pause after the Princess had spoken and then, because Zorina was so curious, she asked,

  “Why did – he come here, Mama? It could not have been just to talk about Papa.”

  “No, of course not,” the Princess agreed. “He came to tell me, my dearest, that the Queen has invited us to dine at Windsor Castle and to stay the night.”

  “Stay the night?” Zorina exclaimed. “But, Mama, how exciting! It’s something we have never done before.”

  “This is a very special occasion and I understand that the Queen wishes to speak to you as soon as we arrive.”

  There was something in the way her mother spoke that made Zorina ask nervously,

  “Why – do you think she – wants to speak to me Mama?”

  “I think,” Princess Louise answered, “in fact I am sure from what the aide-de-camp told me that the Queen is planning your marriage.”

  “M-my – marriage?” Zorina repeated. “But – I have not yet – been presented! And I have never before even been to a party at Windsor Castle.”

  “I know,” the Princess answered, “but now you are eighteen.”

  Zorina rose to her feet.

  “I am sure you – must be wrong, Mama! I cannot believe – that the Queen would want me to be – married when I have not yet been to – any social functions or met – anyone except for the – old people in The Palace apartments.”

  “Dearest, we must not be critical,” Princess Louise said. “If there is some escape for you from what I know is a very dull life, then I shall be happy that all my prayers have been answered.”

  “B-but – I don’t – want to be married, Mama! At least not so – quickly.”

  “It may be something quite different,” the Princess said soothingly. “It is just what I thought myself would happen and although, of course, the messenger from the Queen was extremely discreet, I had the feeling that was what was in his mind.”

  Zorina stood at the window, but, instead of feeling an excitement at what lay ahead, she was thinking of Rudolf.

  He would be waiting for her as she had promised that she would meet him tomorrow morning, but she would not be there.

  Too late she wished that she had asked him who he was staying with so that at least she could have sent him a message.

  ‘Why did I not tell him who I was?’ she asked herself.

  She knew that the answer was quite simple, they were so absorbed in their talk about what they thought and what they felt that anything else seemed to fade into insignificance.

  They had been together and every word they exchanged seemed to hold a kind of magic about it.

  “Now we have a great deal to do,” the Princess was saying. “Thank goodness I finished your evening gown yesterday. There are still a few alterations to be made to it, but you can wear it tonight.”

  Zorina did not speak and her mother went on,

  “I am afraid that you have nothing new to travel in, except for your Sunday best, which is a little shabby, but I have furbished up your bonnet.”

  She paused for breath before she added,

  “Now you had better go and pack everything else that you might think you will need. See that your shoes are clean and that you have enough handkerchiefs.”

  Still Zorina did not answer and after a moment the Princess pressed her sharply,

  “Come along, Zorina! Have you listened to what I said?”

  “Yes – of course, Mama.”

  “Then hurry, hurry! We must have a very early luncheon because the carriage will be here at twelve-thirty.”

  “The Queen is sending – a carriage for us?”

  “Of course, dearest! She knows that we have no other means of reaching her except by hiring horses, which it would be impossible for us to afford.”

  “I will – go and – pack now.”

  Zorina reached the door before the Princess, who was gathering up her sewing basket and then she said,

  “It’s very exciting, is it not? And now you will be able to see the Dining Hall at Windsor Castle when the table is laid for a formal occasion and the candelabra are all lit.”

  “Yes – Mama.”

  Even to herself Zorina thought that her voice sounded dull and she knew that she ought to show more excitement or it would hurt her mother.

  At the same time she could not help feeling how disappointed Rudolf would be when he waited in vain for her tomorrow morning.

  He would not understand that she could not come even though she so wanted to.

  She packed all the clothes that Nanny had pressed for her, also a great many others that she thought it unlikely she would want, but both her mother and Nanny were insistent that she should take them with her.

  Finally the white gown, with its beautifully draped skirt and little cascades of frills down the back that formed both the bustle and the train, was placed almost reverently on top of the trunk.

  Nanny was fussing in case it should be crushed and there would be no time to press it when they reached Windsor Castle.

  “We should be there by three o’clock,” the Princess said reassuringly.

  “Irons take time to heat,” Nanny retorted unnecessarily.

  The luncheon was a very frugal meal eaten hurriedly with a lot of last minute questions as to what might have been forgotten.

  They drove off in a very comfortable carriage with the Royal insignia on the carriage doors and the top hatted coachman and footman wearing the Royal livery.

  The horses moved fast and Zorina enjoyed gazing out of the windows.

  They passed through villages that, although she had lived so near them for six years, she had never seen before.

  At last they saw Winsor Castle ahead of them with the Queen’s standard flying against the sky.

  Zorina felt with a little constriction of her heart that this was going to be very important moment for her.

  Equally it was intimidating.

  She was afraid of the Queen, afraid for her future, afraid of being propelled, as it were, into a whirlpool that there was no escape from.

  “Now, do remember, Zorina,” her mother admonished her as the horses climbed the hill towards The Castle gates, “to the Queen you are ‘Victoria Mary’ and you were in fact Christened after her because your grandfather admired her so tremendously.”

  “I expect, if the truth be told, Mama, he admired England, as do all the other countries of Europe.”

  “That is not the sort of thing you should say,” the Princess retorted, “and everybody in the world admires and respects Queen Victoria.”

  “I have heard that many people grumble a great deal because she incarcerates herself in Windsor Castle and never goes to London!” Zorina remarked.

  The Princess sighed.

  “If you are going to be argumentative, I shall be sorry that we have come.”

  “You are not in the least sorry, Mama.” Zorina smiled. “You are much more excited than I am and perhaps after all this we will find it is you that the Queen has found a husband for!”

  “Zorina! You will give
me a heart attack!” the Princess exclaimed.

  Zorina knew only too well that her mother was only pretending to be shocked because Nanny was with them.

  She was accompanying them as a lady’s maid since, of course, the Princess did not have one.

  She was as used as her Mistress was to the provocative remarks that Zorina made and they both laughed at when they were at home.

  Zorina knew now that her mother was nervous and she slipped her hand into hers as she said,

  “Don’t be frightened of the Queen, Mama. I am sure that Papa, if he was alive, would have stood up to her.”

  “It is not a question of ‘standing up’ to her, Zorina,” her mother replied, “it is just that we are completely dependent upon her and so should be very grateful to her.”

  “Well – she has certainly given us somewhere to live,” Zorina remarked, “but she has not done much else. After all, Mama, even if I was too young to attend her parties, she might well have asked you.”

  Because the Princess had often thought the same thing, she did not answer her daughter.

  Her grandmother had been a distant relative of the Royal Family, which was why she had been allowed to marry Prince Paul when he fell in love with her.

  But she had never been accorded the attention that was hers of right.

  She was after all the daughter-in-law of a King and the daughter of an English Duke whose mother had been a relative of Queen Victoria.

  “All that matters,” Nanny said briskly, “is that we’re here now and you both, and that goes for you, Your Royal Highness, might as well enjoy yourselves in case you’re never asked again!”

  It was the sort of thing that Nanny would say and both the Princess and Zorina laughed, which seemed to ease the tension.

  They drew up at the door of Windsor Castle to find that a red carpet had been run down the steps and there was what seemed to Zorina to be an army of servants in Royal livery waiting to receive them.

  Her mother was still smiling as they walked quite a long way to the Queen’s private apartments.

  Zorina was thinking as she did so that Windsor Castle was more austere and in no way as attractive as Hampton Court Palace.

  She had been at Windsor Castle once before soon after she and her mother had arrived in England when both had been in heavy mourning and deeply distressed at the death of Prince Paul.