The Poor Governess Read online

  Lara said nothing, but she knew what this arrangement implied.

  “’Is Lordship sleeps in the Master suite at the end of the corridor,” Agnes went on, pointing to where there was a pair of large doors. “Lady Louise was ever so annoyed when she found ‘’er room’, as she calls it, which is next door, ’ad been given to another lady in the party.”

  Lara said nothing and after a moment Agnes continued,

  “I expected them to change the list as she’d come so unexpectedly, but Mrs. Brigstow ’ad orders from Mr. Simpson to leave things as they were.”

  Lara thought that she knew why Lady Louise had not been placed next to the Marquis, but then she told herself that she did not wish to think about it.

  “Show me Lady Brooke’s gowns quickly, Agnes,” she said, “I am scared that if I stay long somebody will see me.”

  “No one’s likely to, miss,” Agnes replied. “When there’s an ’ouse party, they eats the same as the ’ouse guests ’ave in the dinin’ room. Mr. Newman and Mrs. Brigstow sees to that. Got to keep up with Easton Lodge and the other ’ouses the Master stays in!”

  Lara was sure that it was a competition in which, if things were not better at The Priory than anywhere else, the head servants would lose face.

  Because she did not wish to gossip with Agnes, but just to see the gowns, which she could then describe in detail, she followed her into Lady Brooke’s bedroom.

  It was a large and very beautiful room that had obviously been renovated and decorated several centuries after The Priory had been built.

  The ceiling was painted with a picture of Goddesses and cupids, the bed was carved with cupids and doves, and the hangings like the panels let into the white and gold walls were of blue brocade.

  The Aubusson carpet and French furniture were, Lara thought, like something out of a dream.

  Agnes was already opening a large wardrobe at the far end of the room and she could see a kaleidoscope in every colour of the rainbow moving in the breeze from the opening doors almost as if the gowns themselves were alive.

  Agnes took them down one by one and Lara could only think that no Queen could have a more magnificent and elaborate trousseau.

  There were silks and satins that were as soft as the clouds in the sky, laces embroidered with diamanté that made them appear as if they were covered with dewdrops.

  There were chiffons and tulles, ribbons and frills in such profusion that it was difficult after a little while to do anything but think that only a genius could have created such an exquisite frame for a beautiful woman.

  “’Er Ladyship has jewels to match them all,” Agnes informed her. “She’s got diamonds on tonight and there’s a whole set of sapphires, includin’ a tiara, locked away in ’er jewel box, besides emeralds, rubies and turquoises which are ever so lovely with ’er fair hair.”

  “I never imagined any woman could have so many clothes all at once!” Lara exclaimed.

  Agnes laughed.

  “These are only a few of what ’er Ladyship owns. ’Er lady’s maid was tellin’ me she’s got two wardrobe rooms at Easton Lodge packed with gowns. Some of them ’er wears once and never again.”

  “I suppose that is being really rich,” Lara said wistfully.

  She was thinking how wonderful it would be just to own one gown like the ones she was gazing at.

  As she thought of it, she wondered whether if she was dressed like Lady Brooke the Marquis would admire her.

  Then she almost laughed at the idea that he would even notice her when there were beauties all around him like those she had seen that evening going down to dinner.

  “Let me show you ’er Ladyship’s bonnets,” Agnes was saying.

  She opened another door of the wardrobe where there were three shelves on which there were bonnets and hats again in every colour, some trimmed with ostrich plumes, others with flowers or ribbons.

  They were all in the latest fashion, which Lara had seen in The Ladies Journal, but never expected to have actually in front of her.

  She longed to put one on and see how she looked in a hat that turned up in front and was trimmed in a way which gave it, she was sure, a chic that could only come from Paris.

  “I’ll show you somethin’, miss, that’ll make you laugh.”

  Agnes opened a drawer and Lara saw dozens and dozens of gloves laid out neatly so that it was easy to pick up the pair that was wanted.

  Some were long white kid to be worn in the evening, some were coloured suede, obviously to match some particular ensemble, others were of leather or lace.

  It seemed to Lara incredible that there could be so much variety.

  Agnes laughed at her expression.

  “It’s just the same with shoes,” she said. “I think ’er Ladyship travels with at least fifty pairs!”

  “No wonder she needs a special train to get here!” Lara smiled.

  “’Is Royal Highness ’as nearly as much luggage as she ’as, besides two valets, a footman and a brusher, a groom-in-waitin’, two equerries and a secretary who always travel with ’im.”

  “I can see he is not a very easy person to entertain,” Lara commented.

  “No, indeed, miss, but everybody’s ever so proud and eager to ’ave ’im as a guest.”

  “That I can understand.”

  Once again Lara was looking at the room and wondering what it would be like to sleep in such beautiful surroundings and know that you could buy everything you ever wanted, and have the most important man in the country in love with you.

  She could not help feeling that Lady Brooke was very very lucky and yet it was not the perfect happiness that Lara wanted to find in her own life and to write about in her novel.

  How could it be when the Prince and Lady Brooke were each married to other people and, however much they loved each other, there could be no happy ending to their story.

  ‘What I want is to love somebody as Mama loved Papa,’ Lara thought, ‘and to feel really and truly in my heart that nothing else was of any consequence.’

  Agnes was shutting the wardrobe door.

  “I’d better get on with my work now, miss,” she said, “otherwise I’ll be in trouble.”

  “Yes, of course,” Lara replied, “and thank you very much, Agnes, for all the interesting things you have shown me. I never imagined that anyone could have such beautiful clothes.”

  “As my Ma used to say, ‘it costs nothin’ to look’!”

  “No,” Lara agreed. “I have enjoyed looking and thank you again.”

  “That be all right, miss,” Agnes replied.

  She started to take the cover off the bed, which was of valuable antique lace lined with blue satin.

  Lara walked towards the door.

  She took one last look around the room, thinking that she must imprint it on her mind so that she could describe every detail.

  Then she went out into the passage.

  She realised as she did so that the suite occupied by Lady Brooke and the Prince was quite a long way from the main staircase in the centre of the house and she would have to walk from the East wing to the West wing before she reached the staircase that led up to the schoolroom.

  As she started to move along the passage, she thought that she could hear the sound of music in the distance and knew where it came from.

  She had already learned that the guests danced in a room next to the silver salon when there was only a small house party rather than in the formal ballroom.

  ‘I so wish I could see them,’ she thought.

  The ladies with their full skirts and trains would look very graceful as they waltzed with the gentlemen in their knee breeches and evening coats with tails.

  She wondered the Marquis would dance with and if he was a good dancer and was sure that as in everything else he did he would be extremely proficient.

  Even as she thought of him, she saw the top of his head coming up the main staircase.

  She was now in the very centre of the corridor a
nd she stopped still at the sight of him, knowing with a sudden feeling of panic that he must not see her.

  She knew he would be curious as to what she was doing in the corridor that led to his own room and where his most distinguished guests were sleeping.

  She felt she could not possibly explain that she had gone with one of the housemaids to look at Lady Brooke’s clothes.

  ‘What shall I do? Where can I hide?’ Lara asked herself desperately.

  She thought of running back to Lady Brooke’s room, but it was too far away and in one second more the Marquis would have reached the top of the stairs and would come walking down the corridor towards her.

  Frantically she turned towards the nearest door and opened it.

  She could not remember who Agnes had told her was sleeping there or whether she had mentioned it at all. She only knew that for the moment it was a hiding place from the Marquis.

  As she went inside, she found herself in a very small hall and saw two doors opening out of it.

  She guessed that this was one of the suites that were arranged on either side of this corridor with a bedroom and a sitting room for each guest.

  She only had a quick glance before she closed the door leading to the corridor, hoping that she could stay safely hidden until the Marquis had reached his own rooms, if that was where he was going.

  Because she was agitated, she felt her heart beating against her breast and she tried to hold her breath, listening so that she might hear his footsteps pass the door.

  Then to her consternation the door was opened and she saw the Marquis’s broad shoulders and his figure silhouetted for a moment against the light that came from the silver sconces in the corridor.

  Then, when she was unable to move or even breathe, he shut the door behind him and she was acutely conscious of him standing beside her in the darkness.

  Although she could not see him, she could feel the vibrations coming from him.

  Then astonishingly and surprisingly, so that she could hardly believe that it was happening, she felt his arms go round her and he pulled her against him.

  Before she could make a sound his lips came down on hers and held her captive.

  Lara had never been kissed before and for a moment the touch of the Marquis’s mouth seemed unreal, as if it was something that could not be happening and was just part of her imagination.

  Then, as the pressure of his kiss increased and his arms tightened about her, she felt a strange feeling she had never known before run through her body, through her breasts and up her throat into her lips that were touching his.

  It was like a wave, warm and alive with an intensity that was strange and at the same time incredibly wonderful.

  Suddenly she knew that this was what she had longed to feel and it was different from anything she had imagined and was so incredibly marvellous that there were no words in which to describe it.

  As if the Marquis was aware of what she was feeling and knew the wonder of it, the pressure of his mouth increased.

  Now his kiss was more demanding and possessive so that Lara felt as if he drew her heart from her body and made it his and that she was no longer herself but a part of him.

  Because it was impossible to think, but only to feel somewhere far away on a cloud of glory, her mind told her this was love – the love she had sought, the love she wanted, the love that was part of God.

  Then, when she felt that he had taken her up into the sky and into a special Heaven and they were no longer human but Divine, he raised his head to say in a voice that sounded curiously unlike his own,

  “I must leave you, Daisy, the Prince will be looking for you.”

  Before Lara could move or even realise what was happening he had taken his arms from her, opened the door, passed through it and closed it behind him.

  For a moment she could not think or even realise what had happened. She only knew that her whole body was quivering with the emotions he had evoked in her.

  At the same time, she felt as if a life force was pulsating through her in a manner she had never dreamt possible.

  How long she stood there in the darkness feeling her heart thumping within her breast, her breath coming quickly from between her parted lips, she had no idea.

  It must in fact have been quite a long time before she felt that her feet were back on the ground and she could breathe naturally.

  Then she opened the door and slipped out into the corridor.

  Regardless of who might see her, she ran as quickly as she could past the main staircase and along the corridor on the other side of it until she reached the staircase that would lead her up to the schoolroom floor.

  Only when she could sit down at the table, putting her elbows on it to cover her face with her hands, could she think of what had happened to her and know because the Marquis had kissed her that she would never be the same again.

  He had awakened her to love and she knew now that she had loved him for a long time.

  Although he had been incessantly in her thoughts she had been too inexperienced to realise that she had been attracted to him from the very first moment he had spoken to her in the Great Hall.

  She had told herself then that he was cynical and overpowering but very interesting.

  Now she knew that he was very much a man.

  Now she could understand why so many women had broken their hearts over him and why Lady Louise was so unhappy.

  ‘I love him, I love him!’ she thought, ‘but it is as ridiculous as looking at the moon and longing to reach it. How could I have known that love would be like this and a kiss could be perfect, like touching the rays of the sun?’

  She gave a deep sigh and knew that the Marquis must never know what she felt about him, must never have any idea that when he kissed her she had given him not only her lips, but everything she possessed, even her soul.

  ‘He thought he was kissing Lady Brooke,’ she sighed to herself, “and I suppose he loves her just as the Prince does.”

  But she did not want to come back to reality or even try to understand what had happened.

  All she could feel whenever she thought of the Marquis was a rapture rising up within her.

  And the memory of how his lips had held her captive.

  And the strength of his arms.

  She knew too that there was a strange vibration between them that had made them closer even than the touch of their bodies, because it came from within themselves and was not physical but utterly and completely spiritual.

  “I love him!” Lara called out aloud.

  She wondered what he would say or think if he found out that it had not been Lady Brooke he had been kissing at that moment but a Governess, an inferior being of no consequence, despite the fact that he admired the way she rode.

  She sat for a long time at the table before she came to a decision.

  ‘I will go home! The Marquis must never know what I feel about him. If I stay here too long I might betray myself inadvertently because I could not help it.’

  She thought how contemptuous he would look, how presumptuous he would think it, if he knew her feelings for him.

  She was also certain that the cynical lines on his face would deepen if he thought that she was another importunate female he had no use for, but who loved him.

  ‘I must go away,’ she told herself.

  And yet the idea of leaving was as painful as if she had stabbed her breast with a dagger, because it would mean that she would never see the Marquis again.

  Because it was hard to contemplate a lifetime without him and with only the memory of his kiss, she rose from the table restlessly thinking that tonight she could not even set down on paper what had occurred or what she had felt.

  ‘I will go to bed,’ she decided and walked towards the schoolroom door to lock it.

  As she put out her hand towards it, she realised that something was missing.

  It was the key!

  She looked at the lock as if she could not believ
e what she saw, but the key was not there.

  A sudden thought struck her and she walked quickly to her bedroom door, but even before she reached it, she knew what she would find.

  The key to that door was also missing.

  Then she knew that the moment she had anticipated would come sooner or later had arrived.

  Here was the confrontation with Lord Magor that she had expected before she came to The Priory.

  Just for a moment she felt panic-stricken. She could not face him, could not bear, when her whole body was throbbing with the wonder of the Marquis’s kiss, to fight and defy a man she despised and loathed.

  It flashed through her mind that she could run upstairs to Nanny and ask for her protection.

  Then she knew that she would not demean herself to do anything so feeble.

  Instead she would teach Lord Magor the lesson she had intended when she learned how he had frightened Jane.

  ‘I am not a helpless orphan with no parents to protect me,’ she told herself, ‘and afraid of losing my employment.’

  She knew that her father could speak to Lord Magor on equal terms and tell him if necessary what a cad he was.

  Yet she realised that she had no wish to worry her father and she wanted to deal with Lord Magor herself.

  Pride came to her rescue and, lifting her chin, she walked to her trunk, which stood in a corner of her bedroom and which she had instructed the housemaids was not to be taken away.

  She opened it and from the bottom, hidden under some clothes that had not been unpacked, she drew out one of the duelling pistols that had belonged to her great-grandfather.

  Only to touch it made her feel that the courage he had always shown was transmitting itself to her.

  Now she was not really frightened, only a little apprehensive and aware that her heart was beating tumultuously, but not in the exciting and wonderful way it had done when the Marquis had put his arms around her.

  She loaded the pistol, cocked it and, holding it steady in her right hand, walked back into the sitting room.