Mine for Ever Read online

  She knew she would speak properly with her husband later when there were alone, but for now, she wished to find out as much as possible about her daughter.

  “You have nothing to fear, Antoinette, you have not done anything wrong. You obeyed your instructions and that is how it should be.”

  “Oh, madame, it is all my fault! I should have run away from Mrs. Lock!”

  “Hush, girl, I am not apportioning any blame. Lord Farringdon – he did not strike her?”

  She whispered these last words almost as if she did not dare to utter them.

  “No, madame,” she sniffed, “but she is not free to come and go as she pleases.”

  Lady Parker kept her counsel as she knew how servants gossiped.

  Their family had surely paid a terrible price to keep her husband’s reputation intact, but even so she recognised that no amount of pleading would force him to change his mind on the matter.

  “You don’t need to fear, Antoinette,” she said to the girl who was still trembling with cold and terror, “we will find a place here for you.”

  “Thank you so much, madame. I was worried that I would be put out onto the street without a reference.”

  As Lady Parker watched Holmes escort Antoinette to the servants’ quarters, she felt so very heavy of heart. If Lord Farringdon was seeking to control Lilliana to this extent, then she could not see that the road ahead could ever be a happy one.

  ‘If there was anything I could do to prevent this marriage, then I would,’ she sighed to herself, ‘but my first loyalty is to William and no matter how much I disagree with him, I cannot go against him. Oh, my Lilliana! Be strong, my darling!’

  *

  The atmosphere at Sherborne Castle was bleak.

  The Earl had not emerged from his room for over a week and no amount of coaxing on the part of his mother could persuade him to leave it.

  “How much longer can this continue?” she despaired, as she saw the doctor out of the castle.

  “Time is a great healer,” he had said wisely, “I cannot supply any medicine that will make him feel better, we just have to wait. Give him time to grieve, try and persuade him to eat to keep his strength up and hopefully he will recover.”

  At least the doctor had gained access to the Earl’s room and had been horrified at the change in him.

  In just a week he had grown thinner and his face, though still brown from India, had acquired a sickly grey pallor. He had not bothered to shave either and the full golden beard, coupled with the pain etched into every feature, made him look considerably older than his years.

  The Countess had listened to the doctor’s report quietly, resolving to make one more attempt at getting her heartbroken son to leave his room.

  She climbed the stairs and knocked on the bedroom door that had been so firmly closed for the past seven days.

  “Darling, it is your mother, please open the door.”

  To her considerable surprise the key turned in the lock and then her son stood dejectedly before her.

  “Darling Robert!” she exclaimed, taking in his desolate face before enfolding him in her arms, “I know you are hurting, but the time has come for you to set aside your grief. The estate needs you – and so do I!”

  The Earl allowed his mother to ring for Fentiman to shave and dress him.

  An hour later he was in the morning room.

  “Mother,” was all he said.

  “Would you like something to eat?” the Countess asked, remembering the doctor’s advice.

  “I don’t feel very hungry,” he started automatically before catching sight of his mother’s stricken face, “Well perhaps something light then,” he replied, stroking his newly shaved chin.

  The Countess smiled encouragingly, grateful for his change of mind, even though she suspected he was only agreeing to eat for her sake.

  “I am so very sorry, Mother, that I have cloistered myself away from the world.”

  “Darling, I am glad that you have emerged at last. I was very concerned for your well-being.”

  “Mother, you must not worry. I am a grown man.”

  “I will worry about you until the day I die, my darling son,” she said quietly, her gentle words breathing warmth into his battered spirit.

  Having eaten some boiled eggs and toast, the Earl felt a great deal stronger.

  “Mother,” he announced, putting down his napkin, “I have decided to go and see Lady Parker this afternoon.”

  The Countess sighed.

  “Do you think that is wise?”

  “I just need answers, Mother. I have to know why Lilliana has deserted me. I just cannot believe she has fallen in love with another,” he held his hand up to stop his mother interrupting – “No, there has to be more to this matter and I intend to find out what it is.”

  “Go if you must, but don’t be surprised if Lady Parker tells you to mind your own business. She doesn’t know about your promise to her daughter, does she?”

  “No, she does not and I feel a certain disloyalty to Lilliana, even now, for telling you.”

  “Then I hope that you discover something that will allow you to put this whole sorry story behind you. You must get on with your life, Robert, and one day I hope that you will find another and fall in love again.”

  “There is no other for me, but Lilliana. If I cannot have her, then I never want to marry!”

  The Countess did not answer him.

  ‘He is a man and one day he is bound to wish for a son and heir like any other man,’ she told herself, ‘and on that day Lilliana Parker will become nothing more than a dim memory.’

  *

  The Earl felt so nervous as his carriage approached Abbotsbury Hall. For all he knew, Lilliana might well be at home and if she was, what would he do?

  His heart was racing by the time they pulled up and it seemed like an age before Holmes opened the front door.

  “My Lord!” he said with a surprised tone.

  “Is Miss Parker at home, Holmes?”

  “No, she is not, my Lord.”

  “And Lady Parker?”

  “If you would care to wait here, I will see.”

  His mouth dried as Holmes reappeared.

  “Lady Parker will see you in her sitting room, my Lord, would you care to follow me?”

  ‘This house does not feel as happy as it once was,’ he thought, as Holmes knocked on the door of the sitting room and waited for Lady Parker to answer.

  “Come in.”

  Holmes held open the door and the Earl took a deep breath before striding in.

  Lady Parker rose and extended her hand to him.

  “It is a pleasure to see you, my Lord. Although I must say you are not entirely unexpected.”

  The Earl shook her hand and his heart leapt. Her eyes were so like Lilliana’s!

  “I have come regarding Lilliana,” he began.

  “Please, sit down and I will order some tea.”

  “How is she?” he asked eagerly.

  “She is well enough, I believe.”

  “You do not sound certain – ”

  Lady Parker sighed and looked down at her hands.

  “My Lord, I have something to tell you.”

  The Earl raised his hand and nodded.

  “Lady Parker, I already know that Lilliana is betrothed to another. When she was not there at the quayside to meet me from the ship, I knew that something was awry – and then Mother told me when I returned home.”

  “It is not as it appears, my Lord. There are certain factors which I believe may have influenced her decision.

  “Her father found himself in difficulties, shall we say, and Lord Farringdon has been exceedingly kind to us as a family. He is an extremely rich and powerful man and his influence has rescued this family from ruin. I have not spoken with Lilliana about the details of his proposal, but I believe she accepted, fearing that a refusal would mean a withdrawal of Lord Farringdon’s goodwill.”

  “So, she does not love t
his man?” The Earl could not keep the note of relief out of his voice.

  “I suspect that she does not, my Lord.”

  “Then, Heaven be praised! There may still be time for me to change her mind.”

  Lady Parker bowed her head and remained silent as if thinking.

  Eventually she spoke in a very quiet voice,

  “I don’t think she will, my Lord. I fear you do not comprehend the seriousness of our family’s recent crisis. I am not at liberty to discuss the matter, but suffice to say the reputation of my husband and that of the Parkers, rests in Lord Farringdon’s hands.”

  The Earl sprang to his feet.

  “But Lilliana loves me!”

  “Of that, I do not doubt, but the matter is – complicated. Lilliana certainly did not take the decision to wed another lightly – I do know she loves you still, but it cannot be. You must accept that.”

  “But why did she not write to me and ask for my help? Whatever this matter is, surely I could have helped you?”

  Lady Parker shook her head sadly.

  “No, you could not.”

  “But I am rich! If you needed aid I would have gladly loaned you whatever you asked for.” The Earl’s despair could be heard clearly in his voice, “you only had to go to Mother and ask – ”

  Lady Parker looked up with her eyes glittering.

  “We do have our pride, my Lord, and we would not have taken this outside the family had circumstances not dictated otherwise. Had you been here, then I am certain that you would have been the first person to whom Lilliana went for help. But you were thousands of miles away and there was not enough time to write and ask for your aid.”

  The Earl sat in puzzled silence.

  ‘There must be more to it than misplaced pride,’ he thought to himself. ‘What trouble could the family have possibly been in that required such a speedy resolution? Nothing could be that urgent – short of Sir William committing murder or treason – ’

  “Ah, here is the tea,” said Lady Parker, as Holmes knocked and entered.

  She poured him a cup and handed it to him, wishing that she could tell him everything.

  “Events so often conspire against us and this time it has been most unfortunate. You two seemed so in love. It’s a pity you did not think to propose before you left for India – William was expecting that you would request a private meeting with him at any time.”

  The Earl bit his lip.

  ‘Perhaps I have only myself to blame for this,’ he told himself mournfully.

  He looked up and realised that she was waiting for him to reply. Her eyes were entreating him to speak and under their baleful gaze, he found he could not lie to her.

  “The fault is indeed all mine,” he admitted quietly, as his heart broke all over again.

  “Faint heart never won fair maiden.”

  “No, you misunderstand me. I did indeed propose, but foolishly, I made her promise not to tell another soul. I would have forfeited this last campaign in India and had to relinquish my Commission if it had been announced. My Commanding Officer was brutal in his insistence that his Officers be married or single – no in-between. I am afraid I was not brave enough to stand up for what I wanted.”

  “You put your career before your heart in other words,” she answered him bitterly. “You have a deal more in common with my husband than you could appreciate.”

  “You are right to be angry with me, Lady Parker, I was a weakling and a fool. But all I can say in my defence is that the honour of my family was at stake. Sherbornes have served the Royal Family for centuries. I did not wish to risk a disgraceful dismissal that would have blemished my service record. If I had known that this might happen, then I would have stood up to my Commanding Officer.”

  “But none of us could have known and I thank you for your candidness. However, I fear that you are too late to change the course of history – Lilliana is to be wed in a fortnight’s time. Furthermore, we had a letter from her this morning – a strange one at that – saying that she wishes to remain in London until the nuptials. I am so concerned for her, my Lord.”

  “You do not think it was her own decision?”

  “No, it was not. I don’t know if you know Lord Farringdon, but he is a particularly hidebound gentleman. What he wants, he gets – no matter the cost. He set his cap at Lilliana and now, he has her like a bird in a cage!”

  She began to cry and the Earl longed to go over and comfort her.

  “There has to be a solution! There is still time!”

  “You don’t know who you are dealing with!” she wept. “Lord Farringdon is powerful and well-connected.”

  “I am not without power or connections myself, and I must save Lilliana from this dreadful union!” cried the Earl.

  “No,” came back Lady Parker, almost harshly, “you must not do any such thing. This, you must promise me.”

  “But why? I just don’t understand, I love Lilliana. I love her with all my heart and would go to the ends of the earth for her.”

  Lady Parker shot him a look that made him feel quite ashamed. He knew what she was thinking – that he was speaking with the benefit of hindsight and, if he had truly loved Lilliana as much as he claimed, he would have found a way to cement their love before he had left for India.

  “All is lost, my Lord. At least it is for you and Lilliana. I thank you for coming to call and for your honesty, but we all now have to live with the hand that fate has dealt us.”

  The Earl rose and bowed to Lady Parker.

  “Thank you for the tea, Lady Parker.”

  “Goodbye, my Lord.”

  “Goodbye, Lady Parker.”

  “We should keep this visit strictly entre nous,” she added. “It will be for the best.”

  As he climbed into his carriage, he felt a sense of overwhelming sadness.

  This house held so many happy memories for him and now, another man was to sit in the pride of place. The place that should have been his –

  *

  It was with a very heavy heart that the Earl returned to Sherborne Castle. His mind was whirling with thoughts as he walked back inside.

  He threw down his gloves and made his way to the study. His mother had been reminding him about the correspondence piling up for him since his return.

  The estate would not run itself – and his mother had done a sterling job in his absence.

  He sighed as he looked at the stack of letters from the tenant farmers. Flicking though he could see the many invitations to balls and parties that had flooded in since news spread that he had returned.

  ‘The last thing I wish to do is to make merry,’ he sighed, as he composed a series of brief replies explaining that he was indisposed.

  He knew that every mother in the County would be delighted he was now no longer courting Lilliana. They would have him marked as an eligible suitor for their own daughters. Even the thought of so much unwanted attention made him cringe and he would not have any peace unless he made it plain that he was otherwise occupied.

  He looked over the ledgers and was pleased to see that things had been running smoothly.

  “Everything seems to be in order,” he said out loud, making a mental note to visit his bank manager soon.

  There came a knock on the study door.

  It was Grimm with a surprised look on his face.

  “My Lord, there is a lady to see you.”

  “Lilliana!” he exploded, as his heart leapt.

  “No, my Lord,” answered Grimm, clearly shocked. “The lady would not give her name.”

  “Then I am not at home,” he snapped, thinking that it was some enterprising lady of the County who had come to put the case for her daughter to him.

  “Very good, my Lord,”

  But in just a few moments, Grimm returned with a rather cross look on his features.

  “Yes?” said the Earl tetchily.

  “The lady will not take no for an answer, my Lord. She said to give you this.”

&n
bsp; He handed over a faded pressed flower.

  The Earl stared at it for a second and then slowly the realisation of who it was came to him.

  He coughed and asked Grimm to admit the lady to the drawing room.

  ‘Goodness, I didn’t think that she would follow me back home,’ he muttered in exasperation, as he put down his pen and rose from his desk.

  Lady Marlow was pacing the floor of the drawing room clenching and unclenching her fists. She had come straight from the ship that had docked that very morning and she was tired and a little overwrought.

  The journey to England had been interminable and she knew that time was against her.

  “Sophia – ” mumbled the Earl without emotion.

  In return she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Slowly, the Earl disentangled them and put them back by her sides.

  “You are not all that pleased to see me, Robert?” she cooed, coyly. “For shame! I have come straight from the quayside to see you.”

  “What do you want, Sophia? I am a busy man and there is much to do here.”

  “I would hope that you are not too busy to see an old friend.”

  “I am glad you understand that, Sophia. Just an old friend – ”

  “But we could have been so much more, darling,” she replied pleadingly. “You know I am in love with you. There are plenty of men who would be so thrilled that I had made such an effort for them.”

  “Then, you must go to one of them! Did I not make it clear when we were in India?”

  “Oh, you silly boy! I did not believe a single word. Have you forgotten that night in the Khan’s Palace?”

  She fluttered her eyelashes and put her head on one side in what she believed to be an appealing manner.

  “I believe I have,” the Earl replied coldly.

  “You kissed me, Robert.”

  “I did not do anything of the kind. As I recall you threw yourself at me and you pressed your lips on mine. I neither returned the kiss nor welcomed it.”

  “Come, were you not flattered by my attentions?”

  “Perhaps a little, but you knew I loved another.”

  “So, where is she – this mystery love of yours?”

  The Earl glared at her – he wished he could throw her out of the house, but he was not that kind of bounder. Another man might have, he reflected.