Seek the Stars Page 6
“I would like to meet Father Christopher,” Sadira then asked her.
“Of course,” Lady Beecham replied.
She took Sadira by the hand and drew her towards Father Christopher. He was talking to several ladies who appeared to be paying him fulsome compliments.
Lady Beecham swept them to one side.
“I want you to meet, Father,” she said, “my daughter’s great friend, Lady Sadira Bourne, whose father is the Marquis of Langbourne. She was just telling me how interested she was in your splendid talk on the many problems of North Africa.”
The Father held out his hand.
“I rather like to think,” he replied, “that I am not too prosy for the young these days.”
Sadira laughed.
“Of course not! I thought that you painted in words a very eloquent picture of what is happening in a country that I have longed to visit.”
The Missionary smiled at her.
“Then it is something you must certainly do when you have the opportunity.”
“I have always wanted to go to Morocco,” Sadira went on. “Have you been there many times before?”
“Several years ago,” he replied, “and they have asked me particularly to visit them again. There are, I am led to believe, a number of Christians in the Old City of Fez, who are feeling neglected.”
“Then I am sure that they will be delighted to see you, Father, especially as you are a Medical Missionary.”
She remembered hearing that Medical Missionaries were far more respected than those who simply tried to wean the natives from one religion to theirs.
The difficulty was to find enough men prepared to spend four years on medical training when they thought it unnecessary as all they wanted to do was to preach the Gospel with great fervour.
“Are you going to Marocco alone or are other Missionaries going with you?” Sadira then asked him.
“On this occasion I am going alone,” Father Christopher replied, “but I always hope that I shall acquire a disciple who will allow me to teach him in practice rather than learning it in a classroom.”
Sadira smiled.
“I can understand and I should have thought that there were hundreds of students who would prefer to be ‘in the fray’ so to speak, rather than just swotting it up in books.”
Father Christopher laughed heartily.
“You describe it very eloquently. But you would be surprised how difficult it is to get young men to accept training during what they think of as ‘the best years of their lives’ rather than riding into battle to fight negligence and neglect.”
Anne, who was standing beside Sadira, chuckled at this remark.
“I rather sympathise with them,” she said. “But if I was a man, I would come with you, Father Christopher.”
“And I am sure that you would be a very great help. But I know that you would find the ship that I am travelling in to Tangier very uncomfortable.”
Father Christopher paused and, with his eyes twinkling, added,
“Instead you must help me by getting your friends, like Lady Sadira, to remember that, while they curtsey to Her Majesty the Queen in Buckingham Palace, there are those in the world outside who are often very hungry and distressed.”
“I will,” Anne said simply, “and I know that Sadira will help me.”
“You have an Arab name, Lady Sadira,” Father Christopher now told her. “It means ‘from the water’.”
“I did not know its meaning, but my father chose it because he loves to travel and he much enjoyed Africa when he visited it.”
“Then I feel that I am justified in asking you to remember that land,” Father Christopher said, “and especially the people I shall be tending in Morocco.”
“I will do,” Sadira promised. “Anne and I will force our friends to be generous even when they don’t want to be!”
Father Christopher shook his head.
“What is given willingly is more acceptable to God.”
Some other people came up to speak to him and Anne turned to Sadira,
“I am sure that we can collect some of the money he requires.”
“I will ask Papa for a donation tonight,” Sadira replied. “As you know, he is always very generous.”
“So is my father, if I can get him in the right mood,” Anne said. “Do you want to talk to anybody else?”
“No, not really,” Sadira answered, “and I think, after all, I should now go home. Papa arrived back from Paris only yesterday and I have hardly seen him.”
She knew that this was an excuse that Anne would understand as she was well aware of how Sadira loved being with her father.
“Come and see me tomorrow,” Anne proposed. “I want to show you my new gown that I am to be presented in. It’s absolutely beautiful and Mama spent a fortune on it!”
“I have not yet had a chance to go shopping,” Sadira admitted.
“Whatever you wear, you will look simply marvellous,” Anne declared enthusiastically.
“I might say the same to you,” Sadira countered.
Anne was very pretty, but her looks did not compare in any way with the unusual beauty of her friend.
Aloud she said,
“If I am told that anyone at Buckingham Palace looks lovelier than you, Sadira, I shall not believe it!”
“You may be quite certain that we will not eclipse any of the sophisticated beauties,” Sadira replied. “They will make us appear very small fry.”
She found herself thinking that the one person who would really try very hard to outshine her would be her stepmother.
*
Driving back in the carriage after leaving Anne, Sadira suddenly felt depressed.
She knew that the Marchioness would try to eclipse her not only at Buckingham Palace. She would do so every day in every way when they were at home.
Sadira was not so foolish as not to know that, while it was for her stepmother’s benefit that she was saving the Earl from the Divorce Courts, the Marchioness was fiercely resenting her.
This was because, to do so, Sadira was marrying the man whom she herself loved.
‘She hates me,’ Sadira reasoned to herself, ‘as she always has. And now, as I am taking her place in becoming the Earl’s wife, she will want to kill me as well.’
She could understand in a way the agony that the Marchioness would suffer when she bore the Earl’s name.
She would be consumed with jealousy when they went away on their honeymoon and when she sat at the opposite end of his table.
What was more, it was a hatred, Sadira ruminated, that would be echoed by the Earl himself.
If he loved her stepmother as he obviously did, he too would suffer, especially when he was forced to introduce her to Society as his wife.
And when he had to behave politely towards her in the presence of other people, when he saw her wearing the Kensall diamonds as his mother had and when she received his guests in his different houses.
Hatred, hatred, hatred!
In a mysterious way she could feel it vibrating all around her and she thought that it would be impossible to live in a world where there was no love and no friendship.
‘I cannot bear it – I cannot live – like that,’ Sadira told herself.
The carriage had by now reached the house in Park Street.
As she walked in through the front door, her stepmother came out from her father’s study.
She looked at Sadira with suspicion in her eyes before she demanded,
“Where have you been? You did not tell me you were going out!”
Sadira did not answer.
The Marchioness then reached out and, grabbing her by the arm, dragged her into the nearest room.
She slammed the door shut and then stormed,
“How dare you leave this house without telling me where you were going! If you have been to visit Norwin, I can tell you here and now that he has no wish to have you running after him. The best thing you can do is to keep o
ut of his way.”
Sadira stared at the Marchioness in astonishment.
It had never entered her mind that her stepmother would think that she was running after the Earl.
Now she could see the fury in her eyes and the bitter contortion of her lips!
As she spoke so scathingly and offensively, Sadira realised that she was consumed with jealousy.
In a cold voice she replied,
“I have not been to see – the Earl of Kensall. And if I had, I hardly think you are the right person to reproach me for doing – your dirty work for you!”
With a cry of fury her stepmother reached out and slapped Sadira viciously across the face.
“How dare you speak to me like that!” she raged. “You are lucky, very lucky to be able to marry such a man. At the same time don’t forget that it is me he loves – me – not you!”
As if her fury made it impossible for her to say anything more, the Marchioness turned and stalked out of the room.
She slammed the door behind her so violently that the china ornaments rattled around the room..
Sadira stood very still.
She could feel the sting of her stepmother’s hand on her cheek, but she did not touch it.
She only told herself that this was a dreadful situation that she could not and would not endure.
chapter four
The Earl called at her house to take Sadira out to dinner and rather surprisingly he was late.
When he finally arrived, he did not climb out of his carriage.
He told the footman to inform her Ladyship that he was sorry he had been delayed and asked that she come and join him as quickly as she could.
Sadira was already waiting and she hurried into the hall and the butler put her velvet wrap over her shoulders.
Only as she pulled herself into the carriage beside the Earl did she realise that he was being very clever.
He obviously had no wish to see her stepmother and, by coming for her ten minutes late, he had the perfect excuse to say that they must hurry away immediately.
He put out his hand to take hers as she sat down beside him.
“I apologise,” he said, “and I know you will understand that my grandmother is a very punctual person.”
“Just like my mother,” Sadira answered.
They drove off and the Earl was silent until they had nearly reached his grandmother’s house, which was in Wilton Crescent.
Then he said,
“My grandmother was very kind to me when I was a boy and I know that you will convince her that we are going to be very happy. It would make her miserable if she thought that I was not.”
“I understand,” Sadira answered coldly.
She thought as she spoke how infuriating it was to have to act this part with everyone she met.
Then, as the candlelight in the carriage illuminated her hair and her face, the Earl asked her unexpectedly,
“What have you done to your cheek?”
For a moment she did not know what he meant.
Then, when she saw him looking at where the Marchioness had struck her, she felt her anger rise at the memory of the assault.
For a moment she was tempted to retort,
‘It is the way the woman you love treats me.’
Then she thought that would be a vulgar thing to say and her father would disapprove.
Instead she replied,
“I don’t – wish to – speak about it.”
She looked away from the Earl as she spoke and therefore she did not realise that an understanding look had come into his eyes.
His lips had tightened, as if he was preventing himself from saying something that he might regret.
Then the butler was standing in the doorway and a footman opened the door of the carriage.
Sadira stepped out.
As she walked into the hall, there was the scent of beeswax and lavender.
It reminded her of how Langbourne Hall used to smell before her stepmother took over and she had swept away all the homemade bowls of pot-pourri and lavender.
They were replaced by exotic French perfumes that permeated the whole house.
“Her Ladyship’s in the drawing room, my Lord,” the butler informed him respectfully.
He led the way and opened a door.
Sadira saw at once that the room was furnished exactly as she had expected and again it reminded her of her own home before her stepmother had changed everything.
There was a comfortable sofa and armchairs round the fireplace and there were flowers everywhere that she was certain had not been bought in London but brought up from the Earl’s garden in the country.
The Dowager Countess was seated in an armchair with a pretty lace antimacassar behind her head and a Chinese embroidered shawl covered her knees.
As the Earl advanced towards her, she held out both her hands in delight.
“Norwin, I am so thrilled to see you!” she exclaimed. “We were all so excited when I received your message saying that you would be dining here.”
The Earl bent forwards to kiss his grandmother affectionately on both cheeks.
Sadira could see that she had once been very beautiful and her appearance was still striking with her white hair and a feminine elegance that was ageless.
She had several ropes of perfect pearls round her neck and she was wearing diamond earrings as well with pearl drops at the ends.
“I am delighted to see you, Grandmama,” the Earl enthused, “and this is a very special occasion because I have brought Sadira Bourne with me.”
“I wondered who would accompany you,” his grandmother replied.
She held out her hand to Sadira and as she did so the Earl said,
“Sadira has promised to be my wife and I know, Grandmama, that you would want to be the first to hear of it.”
The Dowager Countess gave a little cry.
“Your wife!” she almost shouted out. “Oh, Norwin, how wonderful! As you must have guessed, it is news that I have been hoping to hear for a very long time now.”
She was holding Sadira’s hand and did not let it go as she looked at her scrutinisingly and said,
“You are very lovely, my dear, and so like your mother, who was a good friend of mine for many years.”
“You remember Mama?” Sadira asked.
“Very well indeed,” the Dowager Countess replied, “and I can imagine nothing more perfect than that you should marry my charming grandson.”
She looked up at the Earl and asked him,
“Why did you not warn me? I had no idea that after all these years of waiting you were contemplating becoming a married man.”
“I did not contemplate it at all,” the Earl admitted with a smile, “until I met Sadira.”
“And she is everything you ever wanted,” the Dowager Countess murmured quietly.
Because she was obviously so thrilled with the news, Sadira felt uncomfortably guilty at deceiving her and there was, however, nothing she could do but hope that she would never discover the truth.
The butler announced dinner and the Dowager Countess took her grandson’s arm.
He then led her into the dining room while Sadira followed behind them.
The meal was what she had expected, good plain food but beautifully cooked.
Sadira was not surprised to hear that the cook had been with the Dowager Countess for nearly thirty years and she thought that the same might be true of the butler as well.
Also of the housekeeper whom she had encountered when she went up stairs after dinner to tidy herself.
It had been an unexpectedly interesting meal.
The Earl had exerted himself to tell his grandmother many things she wanted to know about what was happening on his estate in the country.
And there was a great deal of conversation about his horses, a subject that the Dowager Countess had a surprising good knowledge about.
Sadira found herself listening intently and enjoying the Earl’s jokes an
d repartee.
After dinner the Dowager and Sadira returned to the drawing room and left the Earl to his decanter of port.
Now that they were alone, the Dowager Countess was bubbling over with excitement,
“I have never been so happy as I am tonight. I know, my dear, that you are exactly the wife I have always wanted Norwin to find.”
“I hope I will – make him – happy,” Sadira reacted to her a little uncomfortably.
“Of course you will,” the Dowager answered, “and you will help him to forget how unhappy he was as a child.”
Sadira must have looked surprised and the Dowager Countess explained,
“Norwin was only eleven when his mother died and I have never known a boy to be so upset and so unhappy. I did my best, as did our other relatives. But we had to leave him to be brought up by his father, who he never got on with and he was really miserable.”
“Why should that have happened?” Sadira asked.
“I suppose that my husband, who was rather a strange character, was in a way jealous of Norwin.”
The Dowager Countess paused and then added,
“I think a man can often be jealous of his own son because he will eventually take his place and also if his son is brilliant at sport, as he himself had always wanted to be.”
“It seems rather odd,” Sadira murmured.
“I agree,” the Dowager Countess replied. “Yet it does happen and without his mother Norwin had a very difficult time with his father always finding fault with him and stopping him from doing anything he wanted to do.”
The Dowager gave a deep sigh before she went on,
“This continued until, when he grew up, Norwin seldom went to Kensall Park, which we all regretted.”
She put her hand on Sadira’s arm as she paused and then resumed,
“I know, my dear, that you will try to make up for all he suffered as a boy and take him away from the fast heartless people who run after him because he is rich and powerful, but never attempt to understand him.”
Sadira looked down at the floor as she felt that she could not meet the old lady’s eyes.
Hers might tell her that she also did not understand the Earl and nor did she wish to.
“And now everything will be changed,” the Dowager Countess went on as if she was speaking to herself, “and Norwin will have someone who loves him for himself rather than for his possessions.”